Hospital Massacre (Be My Valentine, or Else...)(Ward 13) Reviews

  • Dec 14, 2019

    1981: Susan Jeremy laughs at a Valentine's Card from Harold Rusk, a weird admirer; he goes crazy and murders her brother. 19 years later, Susan goes to the hospital to get her checkup records. The grown-up Harry stalks her in the hospital, manipulates her records to increase her hospital stay, and kills the hospital staff and others, a la slasher style. Typical 80's slasher film. This is the darkest and most deserted hospital, so fears of the hospital (with no visible security) and the maniac are reasonable. Watchable, but rather ridiculous, as many of these slashers go. Stars: Barbi Benton, Chip Lucia, Jon Van Ness, and John Warner Williams. The film has had at least 4 different titles over the years: Hospital Massacre, X-Ray, Be My Valentine . . . or Else, and Ward 13.

    1981: Susan Jeremy laughs at a Valentine's Card from Harold Rusk, a weird admirer; he goes crazy and murders her brother. 19 years later, Susan goes to the hospital to get her checkup records. The grown-up Harry stalks her in the hospital, manipulates her records to increase her hospital stay, and kills the hospital staff and others, a la slasher style. Typical 80's slasher film. This is the darkest and most deserted hospital, so fears of the hospital (with no visible security) and the maniac are reasonable. Watchable, but rather ridiculous, as many of these slashers go. Stars: Barbi Benton, Chip Lucia, Jon Van Ness, and John Warner Williams. The film has had at least 4 different titles over the years: Hospital Massacre, X-Ray, Be My Valentine . . . or Else, and Ward 13.

  • Aug 11, 2019

    Early entry into the 80s slasher film craze is surprisingly decent and is one of the few times Golan-Globus Productions ("Invasion U.S.A," "Breakin'," "Revenge of the Ninja," etc.) made a slasher picture. The opening prologue has an unpopular boy named Harold leaving a Valentine's Day card on the doorstep for pretty girl Susan. Susan and her friend find the card, laugh about it, and crumple up the Valentine. Unbeknownst to them, Harold has been watching the whole time. While Susan is getting some cake from the kitchen, she returns to her friend murdered while the creepy Harold stares at her through the window before running off. That's all the set-up you need for this slasher film, which the adult Susan, played by former playmate Barbi Benton, visits the hospital one day for some test results where she is stalked by an adult Harold who is still in love with her. From there, the bodycount continues to grow and just about every male in the hospital might be Harold (it seems like this hospital almost exclusively hired by creepy dudes). Directed and co-written by schlockmeister Boaz Davidson, who's made charming garbage since the 70s like "The Last American Virgin" all the way until today with lame films like "Mega Snake" and "Leatherface" (though he's also produced some classier films like "The Expendables," Rambo 4," and the underrated "Drive Angry"). The plot, characters, and story are pretty non-existent, but Davidson does deliver a good number of suspenseful and creepy hospital themed horrors, particularly an uncomfortable exam of Benton by a creepy doctor that seems to last forever. The film's bloody finale is also quite memorable. There are some slow parts in the second act of the film that drag, but it's not a bad film if you're in the mood for a throwback style slasher that you may have missed. FUN FACT! The film was photographed by Nicholas Josef von Sternberg, son of famed director Josef von Sternberg ("The Blue Angel" "Morocco" "Shanghai Express").

    Early entry into the 80s slasher film craze is surprisingly decent and is one of the few times Golan-Globus Productions ("Invasion U.S.A," "Breakin'," "Revenge of the Ninja," etc.) made a slasher picture. The opening prologue has an unpopular boy named Harold leaving a Valentine's Day card on the doorstep for pretty girl Susan. Susan and her friend find the card, laugh about it, and crumple up the Valentine. Unbeknownst to them, Harold has been watching the whole time. While Susan is getting some cake from the kitchen, she returns to her friend murdered while the creepy Harold stares at her through the window before running off. That's all the set-up you need for this slasher film, which the adult Susan, played by former playmate Barbi Benton, visits the hospital one day for some test results where she is stalked by an adult Harold who is still in love with her. From there, the bodycount continues to grow and just about every male in the hospital might be Harold (it seems like this hospital almost exclusively hired by creepy dudes). Directed and co-written by schlockmeister Boaz Davidson, who's made charming garbage since the 70s like "The Last American Virgin" all the way until today with lame films like "Mega Snake" and "Leatherface" (though he's also produced some classier films like "The Expendables," Rambo 4," and the underrated "Drive Angry"). The plot, characters, and story are pretty non-existent, but Davidson does deliver a good number of suspenseful and creepy hospital themed horrors, particularly an uncomfortable exam of Benton by a creepy doctor that seems to last forever. The film's bloody finale is also quite memorable. There are some slow parts in the second act of the film that drag, but it's not a bad film if you're in the mood for a throwback style slasher that you may have missed. FUN FACT! The film was photographed by Nicholas Josef von Sternberg, son of famed director Josef von Sternberg ("The Blue Angel" "Morocco" "Shanghai Express").

  • Oct 12, 2016

    A fun campy slasher movie from the 80's. The killer may not be terribly memorable, but there are lots of fun moments, some nice gore, and great kills. It's basic horror entertainment.

    A fun campy slasher movie from the 80's. The killer may not be terribly memorable, but there are lots of fun moments, some nice gore, and great kills. It's basic horror entertainment.

  • Sep 24, 2016

    All you need to know about this film is that it was made by Golan and Globus, who were the kings of terrible films from 1979-1985. Indeed, X-Ray/Hospital Massacre/ Be My Valentine, Or Else/Ward 13 (Holy shit, this film has 4 different titles) is an awful, poorly made film, but in all the best ways. It's completely ridiculous and silly (For crying out loud, the filmmakers decided to dress a guy in a wig and try to pass him off as an elderly woman. Did they not have enough money to hire an elderly lady? Was the guy on set and they figured he could do just as good a job for less money? Seriously, WTF?). Barbi Benton is just about the only actor/actress here that does a decent job. She's amazingly beautiful, and isn't afraid to show us her goods. Honestly, I kind of want to see more of her films now. As for the movie itself, what it lacks in suspense, tension and scares (I knew who the killer was going to be the first time he appeared on screen), it more than makes up for in pure, dumb, silly fun. I'd easily classify this as a great party film. Sit down with a group of your friends, switch it on, and have a ton of fun laughing at it and making fun of it.

    All you need to know about this film is that it was made by Golan and Globus, who were the kings of terrible films from 1979-1985. Indeed, X-Ray/Hospital Massacre/ Be My Valentine, Or Else/Ward 13 (Holy shit, this film has 4 different titles) is an awful, poorly made film, but in all the best ways. It's completely ridiculous and silly (For crying out loud, the filmmakers decided to dress a guy in a wig and try to pass him off as an elderly woman. Did they not have enough money to hire an elderly lady? Was the guy on set and they figured he could do just as good a job for less money? Seriously, WTF?). Barbi Benton is just about the only actor/actress here that does a decent job. She's amazingly beautiful, and isn't afraid to show us her goods. Honestly, I kind of want to see more of her films now. As for the movie itself, what it lacks in suspense, tension and scares (I knew who the killer was going to be the first time he appeared on screen), it more than makes up for in pure, dumb, silly fun. I'd easily classify this as a great party film. Sit down with a group of your friends, switch it on, and have a ton of fun laughing at it and making fun of it.

  • Nov 10, 2015

    Hospital Massacre is hilariously bad, and immensely fun to watch. Susan goes to the hospital to get results from a routine checkup, but a sort-of stalker changes her x-rays to that of a dying patient so he can spend more time with her. And while she strips down for examinations, the stalker is off killing anyone he comes across in the hospital in a variety of bloody ways. All of the doctors and patients are horrible people, rude, and uncaring, while poor Susan screams for anyone to listen to her plight. The reveal of the killer was so obvious I thought there would be a twist where it wasn't the person I assumed it was.

    Hospital Massacre is hilariously bad, and immensely fun to watch. Susan goes to the hospital to get results from a routine checkup, but a sort-of stalker changes her x-rays to that of a dying patient so he can spend more time with her. And while she strips down for examinations, the stalker is off killing anyone he comes across in the hospital in a variety of bloody ways. All of the doctors and patients are horrible people, rude, and uncaring, while poor Susan screams for anyone to listen to her plight. The reveal of the killer was so obvious I thought there would be a twist where it wasn't the person I assumed it was.

  • Sep 12, 2015

    Kylläpä tämä leffa taitaa sijoittua sinne reiän tietämille.

    Kylläpä tämä leffa taitaa sijoittua sinne reiän tietämille.

  • Sep 05, 2015

    Typically gory and stupid 1980's slasher flick.

    Typically gory and stupid 1980's slasher flick.

  • Jan 31, 2015

    Pretty disappointing slasher film

    Pretty disappointing slasher film

  • Nov 10, 2013

    Du grand cinéma... C'est tellement mauvais que c'en est divertissant!

    Du grand cinéma... C'est tellement mauvais que c'en est divertissant!

  • Oct 22, 2013

    This maybe a ridiculously cheesy horror flick but it doesn't take itself too seriously and it has some great atmosphere and decent kills..that's about the only nice thing I can say the rest is your generic by the number 80's slasher flick... The lovely Barbi Benton plays a woman who is stalked by an acquaintance who wants revenge for being rejected by her as a small child..it just so happens he's also a doctor.

    This maybe a ridiculously cheesy horror flick but it doesn't take itself too seriously and it has some great atmosphere and decent kills..that's about the only nice thing I can say the rest is your generic by the number 80's slasher flick... The lovely Barbi Benton plays a woman who is stalked by an acquaintance who wants revenge for being rejected by her as a small child..it just so happens he's also a doctor.