The Longest Yard (2005)
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Critic Reviews for The Longest Yard
Everyone involved with this remake claims the utmost respect for Robert Aldrich's raucously funny 1974 original. So you have to wonder why they crapped all over it, starting with the casting.
People will go see The Longest Yard for all sorts of reasons -- its lively humor, the current of violence that's just under the surface, its message of underdog racial reconciliation, or the fact that there's no actual football to watch on TV.
The pleasure is entirely like eating cake made from cake mix. It's not like you don't know how it's going to turn out, or how it tasted the last time you ate it.
Audience Reviews for The Longest Yard
Here is a so-called populist piece that begins with some pretty loose assumptions that bear some pretty loose scrutiny: 1) Most people believe that prisons are corrupt, but especially foul are the unnecessarily sadistic guards, 2) Most people believe that most convicts are basically cool, though misunderstood just plain folks, 3) Revenge against the sadistic guards is justified. Wooo-weee, but that's a lot of assumptions Past those curiosities of specious thought this film leans on many generic racist stereotypes and clichés (which are bad when the guards use them but good when the cons use them?) in an effort to elicit har-de-har-har laughter. It fails. Rob a 7-11 and get sent up sometime, so then to enjoy completely the grade school hilarity to which this dreck plays homage.
People who lined up to bash this film had better get used to seeing more like it. Hollywood these days is stuck in a rut where three types of films account for nearly every film they release. Those are: remakes, sequels, and films based on comic book characters. The Longest Yard would of course fit into the first category. It is a slightly updated, but fairly faithful remake of the 1974 film of the same name. This time, we have Adam Sandler who plays the incarcerated quarterback that Burt Reynolds played in the original. Reynolds is on hand to play a minor role which the original film also contained. The plot is still the same. Prisoners vs guards in a game of football. Pretty simple. Did the film make me laugh? Sure it did. There are more than a few chuckles, but not much in the way of side-splitting material. Sandler is actually not that memorable in this film. Some of the best performances actually come from people you might not expect. I was truly impressed with Nelly and Michael Irvin. Both men had their characters down, and really proved they could actually act. Chris Rock is about as good as you'd expect. Your own personal opinion of him will determine how you rate his performance. James Cromwell plays the corrupt warden about as well as you might expect. He's pretty much got the market cornered on evil white guy roles, since J.T. Walsh's untimely death. The rest of the cast becomes a game of "see if you can spot the NFL player, WWE combatant, or famous sports journalist". And what on earth was Cloris Leachman doing in the Bernadette Peters role from the original? Did she lose some kind of bet with Sandler on the set of Spanglish or something? The original sucked but was worth more then a 1/2 star.
Sandler's take on this famed remake goes for it on 4th down! Some may say that the comedic direction steered the film out of place, but it was the gritty point-of-view on the gridiron that caught my eye. Funny, dirty and obscene at times, but nonetheless good. 4.5/5
The Longest Yard Quotes
|Switowski:||I'm sorry. I broke-eted your toy.|
|Switowski:||Paul, he brokered my nose!|
|Paul "Wrecking" Crewe:||one more please|
|Paul "Wrecking" Crewe:||One more please.|
|Caretaker:||In six months he's going to look like Beyonce.|
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