Machete Kills

2013

Machete Kills

Critics Consensus

While possessed with the same schlocky lunacy as its far superior predecessor, Machete Kills loses the first installment's spark in a less deftly assembled sequel.

30%

TOMATOMETER

Total Count: 120

34%

Audience Score

User Ratings: 36,467
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Machete Kills Photos

Movie Info

In MACHETE KILLS, Danny Trejo returns as ex-Federale agent MACHETE, who is recruited by the President of the United States for a mission which would be impossible for any mortal man - he must take down a madman revolutionary and an eccentric billionaire arms dealer who has hatched a plan to spread war and anarchy across the planet. (c) Open Road

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Cast

Danny Trejo
as Machete
Lady Gaga
as La Chameleón
Jessica Alba
as Sartana
Sofía Vergara
as Desdemona
Amber Heard
as Miss San Antonio
Antonio Banderas
as El Camaléon 4
Cuba Gooding Jr.
as El Camaléon 2
William Sadler
as Sheriff Doakes
Carlos Esteves
as Mr. President
Elise Avellan
as Nurse Lisa
Electra Avellan
as Nurse Mona
Samuel Davis
as Clebourne
Walton Goggins
as El Camaléon 1
Tom Savini
as Osiris Amanapur
Callie Hernandez
as Space Babe
Billy Blair
as Billy Blair
Jason Christopher
as Lieutenant Brass
David C. Heard
as Doctor Villachez
Juan Zuani
as Radio Announcer
Jimmy Gonzalez
as Man in Bondage
Pablo Bracho
as Bartender Carlos
Ashley Wood
as Male Tourist
Vincent Fuentes
as Cabrito Cook
Rick Delgado
as Police Captain
Dan Arellano
as Elderly Attendant
Elle LaMont
as Dollface
Eduardo Rentaria
as Doctor Goodbar
Robert Tamayo
as Stuttering Tito
Feliz Sabates
as Doc Felix
Jorge A. Jimenez
as Dying Cartel Guy
Alejandro Antonio
as Boss of Mendez
Sam Medina
as Cartel Leader
Crystal Martinez
as Wife of Mendez
Marci Madison
as Nurse Fine
Corey Burton
as Trailer Voice Guy
Elon Musk
as Himself
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News & Interviews for Machete Kills

Critic Reviews for Machete Kills

All Critics (120) | Top Critics (31)

  • Machete Kills is a film in which style sardonically routs substance, a cloying gag built around the iconic quality of Trejo's matchlessly craggy face, which resembles a plate of sundried corned beef.

    Oct 15, 2013 | Rating: 1.5/4
  • Machete Kills plays like a joke that's been told a few times too often.

    Oct 11, 2013 | Rating: 2/4 | Full Review…
  • A self-aware exploitation picture that winks as it picks your pocket.

    Oct 11, 2013 | Rating: 2/4 | Full Review…
  • When a celebrity chef like Rodriguez is just going through the motions, we can smell that the grindhouse fad is way past its expiration date. It's time to put a fork in it.

    Oct 11, 2013 | Rating: 1/4 | Full Review…
  • "Machete Kills" is barely a movie. It's an inside joke wrapped in a fanboy fantasy, pieced together through a haze of ironic detachment.

    Oct 11, 2013 | Rating: D- | Full Review…
  • Endless assault weapons, exploding helicopters, crashing cars and floors splattered with blood, limbs and entrails, all adding up to nothing.

    Oct 11, 2013 | Rating: 1.5/4 | Full Review…

Audience Reviews for Machete Kills

  • Oct 24, 2014
    Exploitation films are good when they're over the top. The cheesier, the more outrageous, the sleazier the content, the better the exploitation film. If you're aware of the Robert Rodriguez brand of exploitation (a la "Grindhouse," "Machete," and "Death Proof") than this film will be right in your wheelhouse. This has got to be the biggest and grossest of his films, and has many elements that make a great action film. Every character is perfectly cast, including Amber Heard as a saucy beauty queen, Sofia Vergara as a murderous Madame, Mel Gibson as a maniacal villain, and Carlos Estevez as the bottomed out politician turned president. Everything about this film is strange and big, and silly, and I say that with positive enthusiasm. This is the perfect film if you want something huge and awesome, and unapologetic.
    Spencer S Super Reviewer
  • Aug 01, 2014
    Hey I just realised something that I forgot to mention in the original movie review. You all remember Rodriguez's film 'Desperado' right. Well isn't the character of 'Machete' first seen played by Trejo in that film? the dude with all those small throwing knives strapped around his waist, its virtually the same character. Well once again this movie kicks off with those washed out, scratchy grungy 70's looking exploitation visuals. We actually get quite a neat little retro styled cinema introduction to yet another parody trailer for yet another Machete flick, this time in space. There is that same deep gravely voice narrating the trailer as the corny trademark infringing action explodes onto the screen accompanied by more cheesy action music and lots of hammy retrotastic onscreen text. Quite liked the little moment where 'Bleep' the robot played by Justin Bieber (not really) gets blasted to pieces. From here on though the decision has been made to continue the rest of the films visuals in regular glossy Hollywood fashion dropping the rough grungy B-movie look. I'm not really too sure why they would do that seeing as that visual appearance is the whole point of the franchise, that's its quirky raison d'etre, without it the movie just becomes another daft action flick...only this is just absurdly ridiculous bordering on spoof-like. Unfortunately this is exactly what happens, this movie is so slapdash and crazy that you simply can't really enjoy it. All rules of reality and beyond go completely out the window as Machete is 100% invincible and can literately do anything that is required. Jumping from a great height out of a helicopter into a speed boat and taking out the bad guys on board...no problem, just press the X button and the right shoulder button to perform this special move. Thing is you have the same issue when reviewing these type of flicks. I know its all been shot like this on purpose, I realise the extreme gory bullet ridden lunacy is part of the intentional charm, I realise the characters are larger than life and totally hokey and the whole movie is just a big insane comicbook of violence. I think we all know this, but at what point does it simply go too far and become shit? The plot really doesn't matter in this film (Machete vs Gibson and lots of various henchmen) as its entirely about the action set pieces, one after another, bigger and bigger, more and more over the top. Nothing matters in the film anymore because the protagonist is so God-like its all meaningless, its like playing a videogame with the infinite energy cheat on, fun at first but very boring after about ten minutes. There are only a few positives with this film, one being the unique mix of casting (kinda). The first movie had Seagal as the main boss, this time its Mel Gibson...and I can't deny he does save the day. Seeing Mel play the 'Bond-esque' villain is a real breath of fresh air and he clearly enjoys it. Lets not get carried away he doesn't really do much other than stand around and reel off cliched dialog but his presence is felt, he oozes a slick charm that just makes his villainy so watchable (despite it being highly childish nonsense). The moment he puts the silver mask on the film just sinks to yet another level of utter childish meaningless futile crapola...yet somehow its kinda cool. Why would his voice deepen with the mask on? why are his footsteps now like Robocop? why does he not treat his face before putting the mask on? and how does the mask not move around and feel really uncomfortable? Pointless questions I know but I gotta ask. The rest of the cast are mainly the same as before accept we have more outrageous cameos this time. Lady Gaga as a hitwoman with a talent for disguises (I think)...this led to various little pointless cameos. Savini is back but has changed sides, Rodriguez still plays the tough bitch and still looks like she needs a wash whilst Charlie Sheen goes by his birth name to play the US President. Probably the second best thing about this film after Gibson, Sheen basically plays 'Charlie Harper' as the US President...which basically means he's playing his usual womanising self. The best description for this film frankly is a violent adult version of Austin Powers mixed with James Bond. It sounds like a cheesy thing to say (or type even) but its true! you only have to see the last half of the film which is set in some kind of big weapons lab to realise what I mean. Hell...Gibson only needs a white cat under his arm and the transition would be complete. The only other thing I quite liked was the fact the ending is open and leads into the plot from the trailer you see at the start of the film. The down side of that is the worry they might actually make a third film called 'Machete Kills Again in Space'! This may as well be a comedy because it sure as hell would be a total spoof of damn near everything ever. Time to let this go I think Mr Rodriguez, you had your fun in the first film which was quite good, but this has now gone too far, its been milked and the moment has well and truly past.
    Phil H Super Reviewer
  • Feb 23, 2014
    I really wanted to like this film, as the first Machete was probably my favorite film of the summer of that particular year. It was silly, goofy, cartoonish and it was massively entertaining. The sequel is all of those things except one. Given the rating, I'm pretty sure you can guess which of those descriptions is the one that's missing from this movie. And, it's really strange, because other than the fact that it's a little more over-the-top, it's practically the same exact movie as it was the first time around. So why did I enjoy the first movie so much more than the sequel. Perhaps the novelty of a B-movie that originated as a fake trailer in Grindhouse wore off for the sequel. If there's one thing that's noticeable, other than the substantial drop in quality, is that the film simply isn't as energetic as it was the first time around. Almost as if Rodriguez was contractually obligated to do a sequel. If that was the case, then that really took a lot of the heart out of the film, as it wasn't done for the love of the franchise, it was done because it was in the contract. This is all speculation, I have no way to know one way or the other, but this film lacks everything that made the first film so fun to begin with. Of course, the movie has its moments and it has a lot of fun cameos from Walter Goggins, Cuba Gooding Jr., Lady Gaga and Antonio Banderas all playing the same character, called The Chameleon. That stuff was actually pretty funny, and Demian Bichir was great as he transitions from noble revolutionary fighter to cartel madman to secret agent. Demian Bichir is pretty great and he was, surprisingly, entertaining here. And I say surprisingly because Demian seems like such a serious actor and that sometimes doesn't lend itself to what is a parody of exploitation films, but he made the transition really well and he might've actually been my favorite part of the film. One of the film's problems, and some people who liked this film might consider this a positive, is how messily the film is put together. And I don't mean purposely messy, to parody/tribute old exploitation films. I just mean messy in that it's very hard to get into the film because the film's script doesn't really give you much of a chance to get to enjoy it. That's, by fair, its main problem I think. It's just really hard to get into the film, even with all the smoke and mirrors. And the film's villain, Mel Gibson, is surprisingly ineffective. I don't blame Mel for this, as his character just wasn't really given that much to do nor were you really inclined to dislike him. With Mel's racist past, you could've created a very memorable villain with that, but they just made him a weird cult leader, a la Heaven's Gate. You wasted Mel Gibson in a film that's littered with many racist characters. I realize that's a really strange thing to say, but it's the truth. In order to make the racism feel more authentic and ugly, if that's what you were going for, then cast someone who's known as a racist. Seems fairly simple to me, but the film missed the mark on that as well. I can't express my disappointment with this film enough, considering how excited I was for a sequel after the first film. If this was really planned from the beginning as a trilogy, which I doubt, then there's still hope for Machete Kills Again, but I'm not really looking forward to it considering how much this film disappointed. It has its moments, and even those are few and far in between, but you'd be better served watching the first film instead.
    Jesse O Super Reviewer
  • Feb 21, 2014
    I wasn't a big fan of 'Machete' but it was fun seeing all the big stars taking part in such a cheesy movie. The same thing happens here and the best thing about this film is definitely the biggest star, Gibson. Until he comes into it the film (despite the overblown action and gore) is one big yawnfest. Trejo isn't talented to hold your attention on screen and despite the cameos of Gooding Jnr, Lady Gaga and Banderas (playing the same character!) no-one is given enough to do to make their roles memorable. What promises to be the next sequel looks more fun but if you want modern 'expolitation' thrills I'd stick with 'Hobo with a Shotgun'.
    David S Super Reviewer

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