Ralph Breaks the Internet
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It's fair to say Noobz misses what it's aiming for -- a breezy, raunchy comedy steeped in a unique lingo and bolstered by a flashy endorsement deal -- by a long shot. If not for Mewes and the occasional laugh, the film would be a complete letdown.
A wearying, across-the-board comedic misfire, unredeemed by a couple charming supporting performances, that lamely tries to hitch its trailer to the $17-billion-a-year videogaming industry.
Instead of lighthearted adventuring, Noobz makes The Wizard look like The Matrix, slogging through stupidity for what feels like an eternity at times.
Noobz was exactly what I was hoping it would be. A mind numbing fun time. I have no idea if the movie is accurate when it comes to the gaming world because I am not a gamer nor do I know one. But the things I did love about the movie was how much it made me laugh. Blake Freeman and Matt Shively were the funniest of the group. The one liners really had me rolling. I know most aren't huge fans of vulgar comedy and especially gal's, but I do. I guess it's from having so many guy friends. So if you just want to have a good laugh minus all the seriousness and a movie that has no real point, then this is a film for you. I would watch it again.
This film is woefully inaccurate and has wildly missed its mark in its attempt to capture gaming culture. The film starts off by showcasing the rivalry that is now more popular than ever between online games. Gone are the days of one man sat in his room, bashing his joystick on his own. Now said joystick basher has the chance to test his wits against other like-minded people across the globe. Even better than that, there are now gangs/clans that games can join up with in order to take down other clans via the joys of the worldwide web. The concept of the film is quite nice in principle, but the execution is sloppy. The film takes elements from films such as Fanboys, Detroit Rock City, Role Models, Sex Drive and the aforementioned The King of Kong documentary, yet it fails to live up to any of those. Flat, hollow, lifeless and unfulfilled are just some words to throw at Noobz. I was really hoping for a lot more from this film, yet I was massively disappointed. It's not without its charms, it's just that they're few and far between.
Four friends hit the road to LA to compete in the Cyberbowl Video Game Championship, but will they be able to compete with the worst hangovers of their lives?
Not a bad movie, nothing that will make you laugh hard but good enough to pass away a few hours. And if you like gaming then its probably more fun than those who don't.
Heads-up for friends: This is the longest review I've written for a movie that gained a zero from me. It was simply too awful and offensive to summarize how I felt about this comedy? film. If you even read a single paragraph you'll get a good idea why this movie received a zero from me.
Wow, that didn't take long. Not only is this one of the worst movies of this year, but it could easily be one of the worst indie comedy ever release and most offensive movie that depicts gamers in a negative light. Now I do refrain from using profanity because of good nature, RT policy, and this being a family site, but I will say this though. The director did his business in the restroom one day, looked at what he made, and said "There's my movie" thus is where "noobz" came from.
There's no point in a giving a synopsis on the plot because it's far worse than you can imagine. With that being said, I will say that for someone who doesn't play allot of video games this still managed offend me and give a giant middle finger to my face with no shame. The major problem being that gamers don't act how this film portrays them. For example, one gamer played by Blake Freeman (who's also the director) leaves his job to play Gears of War 3 online with his friends who encourage him to do so. I know gamers and they are not this irresponsible. If a friend can't play a video game or has something important to do they'll wait. Not encourage them to leave their job which by the way makes Blake Freeman lose his job. Another example includes Blake Freeman playing his video games and ignoring an argument with his wife. Apparently Blake Freeman prefers playing video more than providing his half for the house, listening to what his wife has to say, and refuses to have sex his hot wife. Now I'm no avid gamer myself, but who in the world wouldn't not put a video game down and fix their relationship issues.
Now I'm still going to talk about the fictional wife here for a bit longer. Blake's wife who is seriously too good for him tells Blake she's divorcing him for the issues I mentioned earlier and even tells him she'll find a better man. What does Blake do about it? Nothing, unless you count him wanting a rematch in Gears of War 3 online as doing something. Heck, even his friends who encourage Blake to leave his job in order to play video with them even tell him to go to talk his wife about the issues. Now in case you're wondering why I spent so much time talking about this certain aspect of the movie is because it's never serves any purpose or has real consequences. Blake happily goes to a gaming competition with his friends and travel across states instead of fixing his marriage.
What about the gamers themselves? Well you got Blake Freeman who once again rather play video games than face real life issues. We also Jason Mewes who despite earlier telling Blake to talk his wife still encourages him to go to a video game competition with the team clan. Now Mewes character is the least offensive because he cares about spending time with his friend more than he does wining the competition and even spent time with his long distance girlfriend making her happy when her parents face hard times. Mewes is a good example of a gamer because he doesn't refuse to ignore life problems and for him playing games is more about bonding than winning. Now the worst offender is Mattt Shively. I wouldn't be surprised if this movie single handily killed Mattt Shively career. Not only does he offend gamers, but homosexuals too. In of the most life scarring scene possible Mattt Shively dances like a stripper while putting on lipstick and wearing a tank-top. Its quite possibly one of the most cringe worthy moments I ever witness.
Then comes Moises Arias who is the youngest in the group at the age of 17. Oh I forgot to mention he needs an oxygen tank everywhere he goes because he has asthma. What do his friends he played with for two years do? They of course take him to the competition and nearly kill him twice, more on that later. Moises Arias does too care more about bonding than winning the gaming competition. Though he does represents the young gaming generation in bad light too. Not only does he have no real connection with his mother, but he also rather puts his life in possible risk. His mom seems to be okay with it and even tell him to "Wear to condoms" before he leaves. I just realize something, this offends parents of gamer too.
I mentioned earlier that Moises Arias character is almost killed twice and none of those near experience is treated with respect. The first near death experience occurs when Arias oxygen cable is stuck in an elevator going up choking poor Arias to death. Mattt Shively whose the first to act thinks the best way to save Arias life is by putting the 17 year junk in his face and his putting hands in the round area or whatever you want to call it. Than Jason Mewes reacts by putting his face in the 17 year bottom and attempting to pull him down. Than when they magically don't kill him and get him to the floor it appears as if the three are having sex. So to recap. We have a 17 year old who nearly died choking to death and someone thought it was appropriate to make a sexually gay joke about it.
To add insult and a slap to gamers in the face Adam Sessler appears in the film. For those who might not know Adam Sessler is a respect video game critic who stands by his views whether or not he agrees with the popular opinions. He stand by his views no matter backlash from a particular video game fan base gives him. His presence is literally slapping gamers in the face. Appearing in this not only makes him loose credibility with the gaming crowd, but also shows he approves being in a movie that paints gamers in the worst possible way.
There are moments where the film tries to be serious. One includes Jason Mewes character talking to his girlfriend and learning her parents are having trouble keeping their house, but it's hard to take that moment serious since before that. We saw Mewes teammate sing "Rub, rub, squeeze" like 8 times. I would mention subplots, but they go nowhere. We have a washed up 80s gaming icon who in a contrived way happens to be one of the characters actual father. Who is it? Arias, but you probably honestly didn't care about any of the characters in the first place.
Blake Freeman takes his homosexual friend and 17 year somewhere else he decides to take to a strip club. And not even the most sane person would ever believe that a strip club allowed a 17 year old into a strip club. Now this scene in the strip club would have not been so bad if Arias didn't almost die. So what how did the director treat this moment of dire urgency? With another sex joke of course. What happens latter is somehow even dumber. For no reason, Arias friends decide to get him from the back of the ambulance van while Mewes girlfriend distracts them by taking off her clothes to let the doctors examine if her body has a disease. Ten minutes later and the group still manage not to get Arias out of the ambulance van. Now considering this movie has allot of sex jokes I'm going say that two male adults had sex with a minor, but given how little respect this has shown towards anyone I would not count out that conclusion.
Now the actual gaming competition itself that I mention before. There is hardly any footage of any video game in a movie about gamers. Though that's not the worst offender. The four gamers we follow win with ease into the finals and in a twist don't win. Mewes intentionally lost so his girlfriend could get the money and help out her parents. Now moment when the gamers we follow lose could have send a good message. That the friendship that they made stronger with their journey is more rewarding than the prize. But no director Blake Freeman punches gamers in the face when Mewes friends beat him up for loosing. Sending the message that all gamers just care about winning. At this point I already decided there was no way this movie would get anything higher than a zero, but then came the ending.
The ending has the four gamers being signed on by Mountain Dew to represents them in gaming competition, but the credits tells us what happened to the gamers afterward. Not only did the four gamers not get a deal to represent Mountain Dew, but gives gamers, homosexuals, and even parents a giant middle finger. The credits tells us Blake Freeman is now in prison, Mewes is having sex with random hookers and not in a good relationship with his girlfriend, Arias spends time with his father but his mother is cheating on her husband with Mewes character, and Mattt Shively dated three supermodels making nothing of his life. These events after the movie basically says that gamers, parents of gamers, and homosexuals have no life. It says that these people can not function in our society,
Noobz is feces that director Blake Freeman took out of his own behind and shoves it down our throat. He believes he made a good comedy, but in actuality insulted an entire culture dedicated to video games and the people who are passionate about them. Gamers have been poked fun of in the media and because of portrayals like these gamers can't proudly say they're gamers.
Now I'm not going to strike back against director Blake Freeman because this picture and the fact he gave his movie own a perfect rating pretty much speak for themselves.
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