Ray Cooney Director, Screenwriter John Luton Director Danny Dyer John Smith Actor Denise Van Outen Michelle Smith Actor Sarah Harding Stephanie Smith Actor Neil Morrissey Gary Gardner Actor Ben Cartwright D. S. Troughton Actor Nicholas Le Prevost D. S. Porterhouse Actor Kellie Shirley Susie Browning Actor Christopher Biggins Bobby Franklin Actor Lionel Blair Cyril Actor Jeffrey Holland Dick Holland Actor Louise Michelle Frances Actor Graham Fowler Producer, Cinematographer Nigel Goldsack Producer James Simpson Producer Vicki Michelle Executive Producer Lawrence Hiller Original Music Sophie Hiller Original Music Walter Mair Original Music John Pegg Film Editing Jeremy Zimmermann Casting Fi Russell Production Design Ellie Williams Art Director Philippa Breslin Set Decoration Tony Priestley Costume Design