The Painter and the Thief
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This was awful. You could have seen the plot coming from a mile away, except for the moments that came out of nowhere (the sudden yet inevitable betrayal, one hero's "invulnerability," etc). The costumes would have made William Katt in "The Greatest American Hero" cringe. Stella Starr (the ultimate in redundant character names) changes costumes between scenes that's basically, "How many straps does this bikini-style outfit have?" Then there's the Southern-fried robot, the dude who can't be killed, David Hasselhoff (this might have been the experience that spurred his alcohol addiction), and Christopher Plummer (who probably needed to do this movie to settle a bar tab). "Why, Chris, WHY?!" my boyfriend howled during his scenes. We're certain that the ship is two cardboard guitars glued together. I strongly advise seeing this movie while substance-impaired, as that will help you fall asleep later without dreaming about "Starcrash."
Rarely do we get the opportunity to see a fine actor like Christopher Plummer roped into a badly written, badly directed, badly shot pile of junk as lame as "Starcrash". I imagine he must have been down on his luck at the time, like three ex-wives' alimony, can't make the mortgage payment, car being repossessed down on his luck. Caroline Munro, not an actor, plus Marjoe Gortner, not an actor, in the lead roles. The robot seems to have been voiced by someone the director owed money to. Did I mention the dollar store special effects? Or the cheesy musical soundtrack? This movie doesn't fire on even one cylinder. Truly an abominable misuse of valuable film.
w. t. f.
I don't know what makes Roger Corman so special. This thing is ridiculous.
Writer of StarCrash claims he wrote this before Star Wars cameout.
An ugly, stupid piece of trash, and an utterly worthless waste of time.
The money they spent on this movie they could have bought a lunch at mcdonalds.
Marjoe and Hasselhoff sporting something akin to Afro-futurism, Plummer ("it's a Von Trapp!") refusing to blink, and a kink cop robot with a southern accent—from the moment the first mediocre miniature glides awkwardly and out of focus across the screen, you'll think, "I've got a bad feeling about this..."
I can't believe I made it through this movie.
Between the terrible script, lurking plot, non subtle star wars reference, texan robot and red dyed horses it was a trial to survive.
For a 4 million dollar movie, I would be hoping they saw some serious change or at least kept their receipts for this one.
Please do not make yourself watch this movie.
Hasselhoft how could you?
Really bad FX make this either unbearable to sit through or a laugh riot.
Silly but enjoyable film, a good film for young kids since there is nothing offensive about it. The film is laughably bad but the colorful stars and spaceships look nice. This definetly should not get 5 stars though folks