Ted - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Ted Reviews

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July 25, 2016
Funny, Hilarious, Rude but fun to watch,
People say This movie is funnier than Paul, I have to disagree because nobody can beat simon pegg and nick frost, The alien is just the man.

Score: 7/10
July 22, 2016
*
It's hard to find good things to say about this unfunny, revolting piece of shit. I suppose, if I had to credit something, it would be the performance given by Mark Wahlberg, and the fact that I laughed once. And it wasn't even a laugh really - more of a smirk.
July 19, 2016
6.7 on 10

You know the rule, hand down, man down.
Wicked recommend.
July 15, 2016
Ted the story about a man and his teddy bear. What is most impressive about Ted is the interactions between Ted and Mark Wahlberg because it seems so genuine even though its just a cgi bear. Ted is very funny, but Seth Macfarlane isn't for everyone.
July 15, 2016
I love Ted he's hilarious and very full of exhilaration
½ July 14, 2016
Ted has it's funny moments but overall I felt underwhelmed. Maybe as a family guy viewer I was used to this sort of humour whilst other viewers weren't who went on and on about how great a film this is. The plot is very cliched and you can tell where it's going, however some of the gags are very unexpected and will make you laugh.
July 12, 2016
The best comedy of the year! Seth MacFarlane is a genius.
July 12, 2016
At one scene during this movie, I was saying "wtf am I watching?" But the ending was really good and the movie was very funny. The only reason I rated this 4 stars instead of 3.5 is because of the last words in the film. "And Robert went on and is now Taylor Lautner" ??????
July 4, 2016
Watchable if you're into the Macfarlane Family Guy humor
June 27, 2016
One of the most stupidest movies I have ever seen! Come on! Seriously? A stupid talking bear, that Mark's character can't get away from. How dumb! There is NOTHING intelligent about this movie what-so-ever! The majority of these "jokes" are rather offensive and rude! I can't understand how people think this movie is funny. I can't rate it low enough and I want my 2 hours back, that I spent watching such a ridiculous movie! I could have watched paint peel instead and had more fun!
June 26, 2016
iffy at first, but gets better. pretty decent movie
June 26, 2016
It is funny and weird at the same time I mean a talking bear
½ June 21, 2016
American comedy for idiots
½ June 21, 2016
American comedy for idiots.
June 21, 2016
Funny with charming characters and unexpected narrative heft.
½ June 13, 2016
Ted is one of the best comedy movies ever. Seth Macfarlane does an amazing job as director. This movie is funny and amazing. I would very much suggest this movie.
June 4, 2016
Intermittently funny, Ted never rises above it's novel concept and it's token drama drags it down even more.
June 4, 2016
Funny in McFarlane's typical style. Very much like Family Guy, Ted brings the laughs.
June 4, 2016
It has a lot of crude humor which ruined the sentimentality of relationships and bonds with a bear. The movie also proves a point of doubt on the good in people, and our society today. The movie Ted focuses on drugs and alcohol more than the main idea of the movie.
June 1, 2016
Sitting down in the cinema with my popcorn, I have never experienced a film with such a clearly defined demographic. Packed almost to capacity with grown men clutching at their seat and gasping for air attempting to recover from an onslaught of crude fart, anal sex, turd and ejaculation references, Ted is certainly not great cinema, It achieves its limited aspirations in a preposterously creative literary interpretation of the boy v's man blight.

Having left commonsense and logic in the distant past, Writer/Director/Voiceover/Creator of Family Guy Seth MacFarlane's flash of brilliance in creating a Bad Santa-like irrepressibly naughty bear with politically incorrect urges loses a little in translation. For those viewers who are unversed in his previous works or are unaware of the relevance of copious pop-culture references, all his shenanigans fall sadly short of funny.

Star Trek's Patrick Stewart's deeply expressive narrative sets the tongue-in-cheek tone to the miraculous events of Christmas 1985 for eight year old John Bennett (Bretton Manley).

A lonely child, all John ever wanted was a true and loyal friend. Making a wish on a shooting start that his Christmas present - A large teddy bear unoriginally named Ted - would come to life, John is blessed with th companion he always craved.

After the families initial shock and the world's fleeting 15-minutes-of-fame infatuations, the two are instantly inseparable; and whilst hidden under the sheets on a scarily stormy night they cement their friendship by vowing to be Thunder Buddies for life.

Fast forward 27 years, Ted (voiced by MacFarlane) has matured into a foul-mouthed, pot-smoking couch-potato who continuously sabotages the minimum wage John's (Mark Whalberg) life by undermining any and all of John's responsibilities and relationship with his ultimately understanding girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis).

By when pushed to the limit by Ted's perpetual juvenilia on their fourth anniversary, the disgusted Lori insists that John move on with his adult life, and leave Ted behind. With living arrangements, social engagements and visitation rights all under the microscope, will John accept an offer to sell Ted to a bizarrely creepy father/son pair of strangers? Or can John make the logical choice between his past and his future?

MacFarlane gets more than the expected mileage from what essentially is a one-joke movie built around Ted's politically incorrect proclivities. Ex-funky buncher Whalberg bears the brunt of Ted's ludicrousness being pummeled, punched and whipped by a TV antenna into acting submission. Kunis is pleasant as ever but shortchanged on story and consistently upstaged.

The support cast attempts to make the best of a bad situation, Giovanni Ribisi looks life he is having a blast as a dancing nutcase come emotionally intense bear-napper. Sam J. Jones, who played Flash Gordon in the critically ridiculed 1980 movie, shows up as his long forgotten himself. Joel McHale is suitably creepy as Lori's detestable boss and Jessica Barth has an odd role as Ted's perfectly curvaceous dumb-blonde check-out chick human girlfriend, don't even want to understand the physicality's there.

The verdict: Although a solid attempt at adding something to the comedy scape, much like his TV show, MacFarlane's Ted gags drag on incessantly to the same painfully pointless end.

Published: The Queanbeyan Age
Date of Publication: 13/07/2012
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