Van Helsing Reviews

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November 1, 2018
What's left is a world of industrial Gothicism, nightmare morphing effects, ahistoric gadgetry and Breughel-lite grotesquerie.
January 9, 2018
The exteriors are fantastic, the castles mega-looming, and there's a beautiful -- if fanciful -- masqued ball which shows off to perfection the costumes contrived by Gabriella Pescucci.
August 1, 2004
The horror flick, at its height, was a lyrical caressing of our fears; by the end of this nonsense, you fear for the well-being of the genre. 'It's dead!'
June 6, 2004
It's empty calories: There isn't a single nourishing, non-synthetic sequence in the entire movie. Not a scene. Not a line. Not a look.
Top Critic
May 20, 2004
This moronic abomination is not a movie. It's just a noisy, nasty and repulsive video game-slash- theme-park haunted-house ride designed to appeal to the offspring of warlocks and trolls.
May 13, 2004
This is one of the dopiest movies of the year.
May 11, 2004
The orgy of morphing, shrieking, lightning-cracking, and habitual rope-swinging quickly turns oppressive.
May 11, 2004
Sure, it's daft, but it's also funny and exciting and kids will likely love it.
May 7, 2004
A special-effects extravaganza that uses the barest of excuses to bring these characters together.
May 7, 2004
There's never a dull moment, but there's also never a moment. It never stops. It's a perpetual-motion machine.
May 7, 2004
A junk-food feast for the eyes and utterly thought-cleansing fast for the intellect.
May 7, 2004
This movie is just too silly for words.
May 7, 2004
A big, loud, boring wreck.
May 7, 2004
This is what happens when you spend pots of money on special effects but don't give a fig about storytelling.
May 7, 2004
A turbo-charged retelling of the Dracula, Frankenstein and Wolf Man sagas, this extravagant creature-feature crams everything in but Abbott and Costello.
May 7, 2004
The experience of watching the film is best described as deadening.
May 7, 2004
Van Helsing is more amusing and exciting than frightening.
May 7, 2004
Old monster movies were thrilling in a way that mingled terror, sexuality and a real preference for the monsters over their tormentors. Van Helsing is a kiddie adventure on an endless, meaningless loop.
May 7, 2004
The rare kind of movie where the badness just adds to the fun.
May 7, 2004
We've seen worse movies -- I'm sure of it -- but this opening salvo of the summer season is so extravagantly, off-the-wall bad it pushes the others from memory.
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