Christoph Waltz

Franz Oberhauser:

Well that's brothers for you; they always know which buttons to press.

---

Franz Oberhauser:	He dies not knowing who you are. The daughter of an assassin, the only women who could have understood him. Sad.
Madeleine Swann:	I love you
Franz Oberhauser:	Do those blue eyes still recognize you?
James Bond:	I'd recognize you anywhere. The watch. One minute... One minute.
Franz Oberhauser:	Did you say something?
James Bond:	Tempus fugit.
Franz Oberhauser:	What?
James Bond:	Tempus fugit
Franz Oberhauser:	I can't hear you James.
James Bond:	I said doesn't time fly

Franz Oberhauser:

Welcome, James. It's been a long time. And finally, here we are.

---

Franz Oberhauser:	So why did you come then, James?
James Bond:	I came here to kill you
James Bond:	I came here to kill you.
Franz Oberhauser:	Oh, and I thought you came here to die.
James Bond:	Well it's all a matter of perspective.

---

Franz Oberhauser:

It was me James. The author of all your pain.

---

Franz Oberhauser:	Why did you come?
James Bond:	I came here to kill you.
Franz Oberhauser:	And I thought you came here to die.
James Bond:	Well, it's all a matter of perspective.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	How do you like the bounty hunting business?
Django:	Kill white people and get paid for it? What's not to like?

---

Dr. King Schultz:

Hello, you poor devils!

---

Chudnofsky:

And so, thunder strikes lightning.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	How do you like the bounty hunting business?
Django:	Kill white folks and they pay you for it? What's not to like?

---

Stephen:	What he say your name is? Shoots?
Dr. King Schultz:	Schultz.

---

Mub:	ugly says what
Mub:	Ugly says what?
Mandrake:	what
Mandrake:	What?
Mub:	nothing
Mub:	Nothing.

---

Alan Cowan:

Keep on stroking your own ego. It's beautiful.

---

Alan Cowan:

Penelope, I believe in the god of carnage. The god whose rule has been unchallenged since time immemorial.

---

Alan Cowan:

I saw your friend Jane Fonda on TV the other day. It made me want to go out and buy a Ku Klux Klan poster.

---

Alan Cowan:

Morally, you're supposed to overcome your impulses, but there are times you don't want to overcome them.

---

Django:	She ain't no house slave, she can't work. She's beautiful. They might make her a comfort girl.
Dr. King Schultz:	what's a comfort--? Oh....
Django:	Not while I have my freedom. Not while I have my gun.

---

Alan Cowan:	Nancy, it's absurd to drink in your condition.
Mother:	What condition?

---

Alan Cowan:

Penelope, I believe in the god of carnage. The god whose rule's been unchallenged since time immemorial.

---

August:

The world runs on tricks, plays but it's havin' a true talent, a gift born within somethin' no degree can give you, you have such talent.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	Stop playing Beethoven
Dr. King Schultz:	Stop playing Beethoven.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	You sure that's him?
Django:	Yeah
Dr. King Schultz:	Positive?
Django:	I don't know
Dr. King Schultz:	You don't know if your're positive?
Django:	I don't know what positive mean
Dr. King Schultz:	It means you're sure
Django:	Yes
Dr. King Schultz:	Yes what?
Django:	Yes, I'm sure that's Ellis Brittle
Django:	*gunshot*
Django:	I'm positive he dead
Django:	I'm positive he dead.

---

Dr. King Schultz:

I can see all the passions you inspire are completely justified.

---

Dr. King Schultz:

Actually, I was thinking of that poor devil you fed to the dogs today, D'Artagnan. And I was wondering what Dumas would make of all this.

---

Dr. King Schultz:

I don't go in for sweets, thank you.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	Alexander Dumas is black.
Dr. King Schultz:	Alexandre Dumas is black.

---

Dr. King Schultz:

Everybody calm down. I'm simply a customer trying to conduct a transaction.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	My dear sir, I am simply trying to ascertain...
Dr. King Schultz:	My dear sir, I am simply trying to ascertain.

---

Dr. King Schultz:

Our mutual friend has a flair for the dramatic.

---

Dr. King Schultz:

You silver tongued devil, you.

---

Dr. King Schultz:

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

---

Dr. King Schultz:

Good, cold evening gentlemen.

---

Dr. King Schultz:

I do. I'm Dr. King Schultz, and this is my horse, Fritz.

---

Dicky Speck:	Who's that stumbling around in the dark? State your business, or prepare to get winged!
Dr. King Schultz:	Calm yourselves gentlemen, I mean you no harm. I'm simply a fellow weary traveler.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	You silver-tongued devil, you
Dr. King Schultz:	You silver-tongued devil, you.

---

Cardinal Richelieu:	The wonderful thing about fighting an imaginary opponent, Captain Rochefort, is that he is always greatly skilled, yet easily defeated.
Cardinal Richelieu:	The wonderful thing about fighting an imaginary opponent, Captain Rochefort, is that he is always greatly skilled yet easily defeated.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	Normally, Monsieur Candie, I would say "Auf wiedersehen." But since what "auf wiedersehen" actually means is "'till I see you again", and since I never wish to see you again, to you sir, I say, goodbye.
Dr. King Schultz:	Normally, Monsieur Candie, I would say "Auf Wiedersehen." But since what "Auf Wiedersehen" actually means is "'until I see you again" and since I never wish to see you again, to you sir, I say goodbye.

---

Calvin Candie:	You sir are a sore loser.
Dr. King Schultz:	And you are an abysmal winner

---

Dr. King Schultz:	What's your name?
Django:	Django.
Dr. King Schultz:	Then you're the one I'm looking for.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	[in disbelief] Let me get this straight: Your slave wife speaks German and her name is Broomhilda von Shaft?
Django:	Yep.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	[after shooting Calvin] Sorry, I couldn't resist
Dr. King Schultz:	[after shooting Calvin] Sorry, I couldn't resist.

---

Calvin Candie:	You sir are a sore loser
Calvin Candie:	You sir are a sore loser.
Dr. King Schultz:	And you are an abysmal winner
Dr. King Schultz:	And you are an abysmal winner.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	So, i wish to parley with you
Dr. King Schultz:	So I wish to parley with you.
Ace Speck:	Speak English!

---

Dr. King Schultz:	Alexander Dumas. He wrote "The Three Musketeers." I figured you must be an admirer. You named your slave after his novel's lead character. If Alexander Dumas had been there today, I wonder what he would have made of it?
Dr. King Schultz:	Alexander Dumas. He wrote 'The Three Musketeers.' I figured you must be an admirer. You named your slave after his novel's lead character. If Alexander Dumas had been there today, I wonder what he would have made of it?
Calvin Candie:	You doubt he'd approve?
Dr. King Schultz:	Yes. His approval would be a dubious proposition at best.
Calvin Candie:	Soft hearted Frenchie?
Dr. King Schultz:	Alexander Dumas is black.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	Positive?
Django:	I don't Know.
Dr. King Schultz:	You don't know if you're positive?
Django:	I don't know what positive mean.
Dr. King Schultz:	It means you're sure.
Django:	Yes
Django:	Yes.
Dr. King Schultz:	Yes, what?
Django:	Yes I'm sure it is Ellis Brittle...I'm positive he dead
Django:	Yes I'm sure it is Ellis Brittle... I'm positive he dead.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	We should wait inside
Dr. King Schultz:	We should wait inside.
Django:	Can't we just leave?
Dr. King Schultz:	After you
Dr. King Schultz:	After you.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	Positive?
Django:	I dunno.
Dr. King Schultz:	You don't know if you're positive?
Django:	I don't know what positive means.
Dr. King Schultz:	It means you're sure.
Django:	Yes.
Dr. King Schultz:	Yes, what?
Django:	Yes I'm sure it is Ellis Brittle... I'm positive he dead.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	My name is Dr. King Schultz, and like yourself, Marshall, I am a servant of the court. The man lying dead in the dirt, who the good people of Daughtrey saw fit to elect as their sheriff, who went by the name of Bill Sharp, is actually a wanted outlaw by the name of Willard Peck, with a price on his head of 200 dollars. Now, that's 200 dollars, dead or alive.
Marshall Gill Tatum:	The hell you say!
Dr. King Schultz:	I'm aware this is probably disconcerting news. But I'm willing to wager this man was elected sheriff sometime in the last 2 years. I know this because 3 years ago, he was rustling cattle from the B.C. Corrigan Cattle Company of Lubbock, Texas. Now this is a warrant, made out by circuit court Judge Henry Allen Laudermilk of Austin Texas. You're encouraged to wire him. He'll back up who I am, and who your dear departed sheriff was. In other words Marshall, you owe me 200 dollars.
Django:	I'll be damned.

---

Dr. King Schultz:

Now you can get the Marshall...

---

Dr. King Schultz:

Inn keeper! Remember, get the sheriff, not the Marshall.

---

Dr. King Schultz:

Good morning inn keeper! Two beers for two weary travellers.

---

Dr. King Schultz:

Now as to you poor devils…So as I see it, when it comes to the subject of what to do next, you gentlemen have two choices. One: once I'm gone, you could lift that beast off the remaining Speck, then carry him to the nearest town. Which would be at least 37 miles back the way you came. Or Two: You could unshackle yourselves… take that rifle, put a bullet in his head, bury the two of them deep, and then make your way to a more enlightened area of this country. The choice is yours. Oh, and on the off chance there are any astronomy aficionados amongst you, the North Star is that one. Tata.

Dr. King Schultz:

Now as to you poor devils? So as I see it, when it comes to the subject of what to do next, you gentlemen have two choices. One: once I'm gone, you could lift that beast off the remaining Speck, then carry him to the nearest town. Which would be at least 37 miles back the way you came. Or Two: You could unshackle yourselves? take that rifle, put a bullet in his head, bury the two of them deep, and then make your way to a more enlightened area of this country. The choice is yours. Oh, and on the off chance there are any astronomy aficionados amongst you, the North Star is that one. Tata.

---

Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Ooh, that's a bingo! Is that the way you say it? "That's a bingo"?
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Ooh, that's a bingo! Is that the way you say it? 'That's a bingo'?
Lt. Aldo Raine:	You just say "Bingo."
Lt. Aldo Raine:	You just say 'Bingo.'
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Bingo! How fun!

---

Dr. King Schultz:

I'm sorry. I couldn't resist.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	Good cold evening gentlemen
Dr. King Schultz:	Good cold evening gentlemen.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	I'm simply a customer trying to conduct a transaction
Dr. King Schultz:	I'm simply a customer trying to conduct a transaction.

---

Django:	Hey Lil trouble maker.
Dr. King Schultz:	You silver tongued Devil you.

---

Dr. King Schultz:

It's a German story. There's always a mountain.

---

Dr. King Schultz:

Calm down. I'm simply a customer trying to conduct a transaction.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	[To Dlango and Dr. King Schultz] Come on over. We got us a fight going on that's a good bit of fun.
Dr. King Schultz:	[to Dlango and Dr. King Schultz] Come on over. We got us a fight going on that's a good bit of fun.
Calvin Candie:	[to Django and Dr. King Schultz] Come on over. We got us a fight going on that's a good bit of fun.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	"you silver tongued devil"
Dr. King Schultz:	You silver tongued devil.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	NOW you can go get the Marshall
Dr. King Schultz:	Now you can go get the marshall.

---

Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	What is the American expression? "If the shoe fits, you must wear it."
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	What is the American expression? 'If the shoe fits, you must wear it.'

---

Django:	Hey there, trouble-maker.
Broomhilda:	*Faints*
Dr. King Schultz:	You silver-tongued devil you.

---

Calvin Candie:	I've been surrounded my entire life by black faces. I only have one question: Why don't they just rise up and kill the whites?
Dr. King Schultz:	*chuckles* who knows what could happen!

---

Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	I Love My Unoffical Title Precisely Because I Have Earned It.
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Now I, on the other hand, love my unofficial title precisely because I've earned it.

---

Dr. King Schultz:

You silver tongue devil you.

---

Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Now if one were to determine what attribute the German people share with a beast, it would be the cunning and the predatory instinct of a hawk. But if one were to determine what attributes the Jews share with a beast, it would be that of the rat. If a rat were to walk in here right now as I'm talking, would you treat it to a saucer of your delicious milk?
Perrier LaPadite:	Probably not.
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	I didn't think so. You don't like them. You don't really know why you don't like them. All you know is you find them repulsive. Consequently, a German soldier conducts a search of a house suspected of hiding Jews. Where does the hawk look? He looks in the barn, he looks in the attic, he looks in the cellar, he looks everywhere he would hide, but there's so many places it would never occur to a hawk to hide. However, the reason the Führer's brought me off my Alps in Austria and placed me in French cow country today is because it does occur to me. Because I'm aware what tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity.

---

Cardinal Richelieu:	An airship.
Louis:	How come I don't have one of those!?

---

Dr. King Schultz:	How do you like the bounty huntin' business?
Django:	Kill white folks and they pay you for it? What's NOT to like?

---

Dr. King Schultz:

How do you like the bounty hunting business?

---

Dr. King Schultz:	Amongst your inventory i believe you have a specimen I am keen to acquire.
Dr. King Schultz:	Amongst your inventory, I've been led to believe you possess a specimen that I am keen to acquire.

---

Dr. King Schultz:	Do you know what a bounty hunter is?
Django:	You kill people and then they give you a reward?
Dr. King Schultz:	Badder they are, bigger the reward.

---

Dr. King Schultz:

Calm down. I'm simply a customer trying to conduct a transaction.

---

Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Ooh, thats a bingo!
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Is that the way you say it? "That's a bingo?"
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Is that the way you say it? 'That's a bingo?'
Lt. Aldo Raine:	You just say "bingo"
Lt. Aldo Raine:	You just say 'bingo.'

---

Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	"Once again, but this time let me hear the music in it!" "Bravo, bravo!"
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Once again, but this time let me hear the music in it! Bravo, bravo!

---

Nancy Cowan:	Do you think it was the cobbler?
Alan Cowan:	Of course it was. A little warm Coke and BANG!

---

August:

The world runs on tricks, everyone plays but it's having a true talent, a gift born within something no degree can give you, you have such talent.

---

Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Facts could be so misleading, whereas rumours, true or false, are often revealing
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Facts could be so misleading, whereas rumours, true or false, are often revealing.

---

Alan Cowan:

I saw your friend Jane Fonda on TV the other day. Made me want to run out and buy a poster from the Ku Klux Klan.

---

Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	[in French] Monsieur, to both your family and your cows, I say, "Bravo."
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	[in French] Monsieur, to both your family and your cows, I say, 'Bravo.'

---

Alan Cowan:

I mean who wants to say 'Hail Mary' when having sex.

---

Alan Cowan:

Unbelievable. Fucking unbelievable!

---

Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:

So, gentlemen, let's discuss the prospect of ending the war tonight.

---

Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	I'm going to switch back to French now and I want you to follow my masquerade. Is that clear?
Perrier LaPadite:	[Bitterly] Yes.
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	[In French] Monsieur LaPadite... I thank you for the milk... and your hospitality. I do believe our business here is done. [To soldiers] Ah, ladies! I thank you for your time. *Points out areas to soldiers* We shan't be bothering your family any longer. So, Monsieur... mademoiselles... I bid farewell to you and say... adieu! *Soldiers shoot into floorboards*
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	[In French] Monsieur LaPadite... I thank you for the milk... and your hospitality. I do believe our business here is done. [To soldiers] Ah, ladies! I thank you for your time. [Points out areas to soldiers] We shan't be bothering your family any longer. So, Monsieur... mademoiselles... I bid farewell to you and say... adieu! [Soldiers shoot into floorboards]

---

Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	You're sheltering them underneath your floorboards, aren't you?
Perrier LaPadite:	[Pause] Yes.
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Point out to me the areas where they are hiding.
Perrier LaPadite:	*Points out areas, weeping*
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Since I haven't heard any disturbance I assume, while they are listening, they don't speak English.

---

Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:

[Between puffs] Now... my job... dictates... that I must have my men enter your home... and conduct a thorough search before I can officially cross your family's name off my list. And if there are any irregularities to be found, rest assured they will be. That is, unless you have something to tell me that makes the conducting of a search unnecessary. I might add also that any information that makes a performance of my duty easier will not be met with punishment. Actually quite the contrary, it will be met with reward. And that reward will be your family will cease to be harassed in any way by the German military during the rest of our occupation of your country. [Pause] You are sheltering enemies of the state, are you not?

Perrier LaPadite:

[Pause] Yes.

---

Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Consequently, a German soldier conducts a search of a house suspected of hiding Jews. Where does the hawk look? He looks in the barn, he looks in the attic, he looks in the cellar - he looks everywhere he would hide. But there are so many places it would never occur to a hawk to hide. However, the reason the Fuhrer's brought me off my Alps in Austria and placed me in French cow country today is because it does occur to me. Because I'm aware what tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity. [Pause] May I smoke my pipe as well?
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Consequently, a German soldier conducts a search of a house suspected of hiding Jews. Where does the hawk look? He looks in the barn, he looks in the attic, he looks in the cellar - he looks everywhere he would hide. But there are so many places it would never occur to a hawk to hide. However, the reason the Fuhrer's brought me off my Alps in Austria and placed me in French cow country today is because it does occur to me. Because I'm aware what tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity. [Pause] May I smoke my pipe as well?
Perrier LaPadite:	Please, Herr Colonel, make yourself at home.

---

Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Yet they're both rodents, are they not? And except for the tail they even rather look alike, don't they?
Perrier LaPadite:	It's an interesting thought, Herr Colonel.
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Ah! However interesting as the thought may be it makes not one bit of difference to how you feel. If a rat were to walk in here right now as I'm talking, would you greet it with a saucer of your delicious milk?
Perrier LaPadite:	Probably not.
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	I didn't think so. You don't like them. You don't really know why you don't like them; all you know is you find them repulsive.
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	I didn't think so. You don't like them. You don't really know why you don't like them; all you know is you find them repulsive.

---

Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Has a rat ever done anything to you to create this animosity you feel toward them?
Perrier LaPadite:	Rats spread disease. They bite people.
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Rats were the cause of the bubonic plague, but that's some time ago. I propose to you any disease a rat could spread a squirrel could equally carry. Would you agree?
Perrier LaPadite:	Oui.
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Yet I assume you don't share the same animosity with squirrels that you do with rats, do you?
Perrier LaPadite:	Non.

---

Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Now if one were to determine what attribute the German people share with a beast, it would be the cunning and the predatory instinct of a hawk. But if one were to determine what attributes the Jews share with a beast, it would be that of the rat. The Fuhrer and Goebbels' propaganda have said pretty much the same thing, but where our conclusions differ is I don't consider the comparison an insult. Consider for a moment the world a rat lives in; it's a hostile world, indeed! If a rat were to scamper through your front door right now, would you greet it with hostility?
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Now if one were to determine what attribute the German people share with a beast, it would be the cunning and the predatory instinct of a hawk. But if one were to determine what attributes the Jews share with a beast, it would be that of the rat. If a rat were to walk in here right now as I'm talking, would you treat it to a saucer of your delicious milk?
Perrier LaPadite:	I suppose I would.
Perrier LaPadite:	Probably not.

---

Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	[giddy] Oooh, that's a bingo! Is that the way you say it? "That's a bingo"?
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	[giddy] Oooh, that's a bingo! Is that the way you say it? 'That's a bingo'?
Lt. Aldo Raine:	You just say "Bingo".
Lt. Aldo Raine:	You just say 'Bingo'.
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Bingo! How fun!
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	Bingo! How fun!

---

Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	That's a Bingo!
Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:	That's a bingo!

---

Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:

Bergsteigen?

---

Col. Hans "The Jew Hunter" Landa:

[giddy] Oooh, that's a bingo!

---