Sean Burns

Sean Burns

Agrees with the Tomatometer 69% of the time.

Sean Burns's reviews (from any publication) always count toward the Tomatometer because this critic is a Tomatometer-approved critic.

Movie Reviews Only

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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review

Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (2016)

"A shoddy, cheap-looking affair. This thing could pass for a sweeps-week episode of NCIS." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Oct 20, 2016

Deepwater Horizon (2016)

"It's impossible not to resent the puniness of this picture's concerns, ignoring the historic environmental catastrophe in favor of fictionalized feats of derring-do by an underwear-model-turned-hamburger-franchise-mogul." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Oct 3, 2016

The Magnificent Seven (2016)

"Awash in chintzy CGI, the film has a sickly avocado sheen to it, as if it was color-corrected in post-production to look like a can of Bud Lime." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Sep 25, 2016

Snowden (2016)

"The great, punk rock gag is that Stone somehow managed to make a straightforward Hollywood hagiography about a fugitive hiding out in Russia who a portion of the population considers a traitor. " ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Sep 23, 2016

Sully (2016)

"In many ways Sully is the Clint Eastwood-iest movie Clint Eastwood has ever made." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Sep 18, 2016

Yoga Hosers (2016)

"It's a noisy, grating movie that repeats itself incessantly, as if stalling for time." ‐ Metro
Posted Aug 30, 2016

Pete's Dragon (2016)

"Folksy, sincere and altogether lovely." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Aug 26, 2016

The Shallows (2016)

"In a summer when even a silly haunted house flick like The Conjuring 2 gets blown out to over two-hours, this lean, mean little scare machine is an unpretentious treat." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Aug 26, 2016

A Tale of Love and Darkness (2016)

"Portman makes bold visual choices and sticks to a personal, if at times trying, aesthetic strategy. She's a real filmmaker." ‐ The ARTery
Posted Aug 25, 2016

Point Blank (1967)

"A dazzling concerto of colors and syncopated sounds in which a bad man briefly returns to the living, and then disappears back into darkness." ‐ The ARTery
Posted Aug 20, 2016

Get Carter (1971)

"A film of exceptional viciousness and mordant humor, which single-handedly blew the bloody doors off British crime films of the era. " ‐ The ARTery
Posted Aug 20, 2016

Batman: The Killing Joke (2016)

"These adolescent power fantasies have grown toxic, and their treatment of women reveals a pathological, deep-seated fear and loathing on the part of fans and creators." ‐ New England Movies Weekly
Posted Aug 20, 2016

Jason Bourne (2016)

"Such an enormous amount of screen time is devoted to him sullenly trudging from place to place, I swear not even GERRY had this many shots of Matt Damon walking." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Jul 28, 2016

Café Society (2016)

"It's a strange picture; a melancholic dirge in the guise of a comic bauble, at once light as a feather and pitilessly sad. " ‐ The ARTery
Posted Jul 21, 2016

Star Trek Beyond (2016)

"Star Trek, in its many permutations and generations, is supposed to be about optimism, inclusiveness and faith in the future. That's something this picture gets right, and it's no small thing. " ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Jul 21, 2016

Hunt for the Wilderpeople (2016)

"Waititi's film has the stylized exaggerations and emotional directness of the best children's literature. Everything is just a tiny bit louder and more colorful than real life, but the feelings are straightforward and unadorned. " ‐ New England Movies Weekly
Posted Jul 21, 2016

Ghostbusters (2016)

"Feig's girl-power Ghostbusters was forged in a crucible of man-baby cyber-bullying and it wears a chip on its shoulder proudly." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Jul 14, 2016

The Legend of Tarzan (2016)

"It is a strange feeling to be watching a movie that seems to be apologizing for itself as it goes along." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Jul 1, 2016

Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)

"Minus any movie stars and skimping on production values, it's the off-brand blockbuster equivalent of shopping at the Dollar Tree." ‐ New England Movies Weekly
Posted Jun 24, 2016

The Fits (2016)

"Hightower has a naturally commanding screen presence. Imagine if Steve McQueen was an eleven-year-old black girl and you're starting to get the idea." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Jun 23, 2016

Central Intelligence (2016)

"The movie has a heart as big as its Johnson." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Jun 21, 2016

Finding Dory (2016)

"Perhaps it's because I'm a soulless husk of a man and dead inside, but the Pixar formula just isn't cutting it for me anymore." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Jun 17, 2016

A Bigger Splash (2016)

"An amazing thing happened when Ralph Fiennes started going bald because that's when the world found out he's funny." ‐ New England Movies Weekly
Posted Jun 17, 2016

De Palma (2016)

"One of the best movies ever made about making movies." ‐ The ARTery
Posted Jun 17, 2016

Now You See Me 2 (2016)

"The Horsemen, The Eye - a lot of the names here feel like placeholders nobody got around to filling in later." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Jun 13, 2016

Money Monster (2016)

"I enjoyed Money Monster enormously, right up until it turned into one of the stupidest movies ever made." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Jun 8, 2016

Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising (2016)

"An aesthetic shambles on every front, fanatically overpraised in certain circles for its strenuous and spotty bits of progressive lip service." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted May 29, 2016

X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)

"This year's best superhero movie yet, which isn't saying much." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted May 28, 2016

Chevalier (2016)

"In the sequel these guys should all run for president." ‐ The ARTery
Posted May 25, 2016

The Meddler (2016)

"The Meddler feels toned down a few notches from your typical movie comedy. It feels like life." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted May 22, 2016

The Nice Guys (2016)

""There are never really any new toys in Shane Black's sandbox but he always plays with them better than the other kids."" ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted May 20, 2016

Captain America: Civil War (2016)

"The sad middle-aged dudes who cling so desperately to these films require constant reassurances that they're not just fun stories for children in which men wear tights." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted May 6, 2016

Everybody Wants Some!! (2016)

" I often feel like the only movie characters more tedious than Linklater's leads were played by Zeppo Marx." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Apr 26, 2016

A Hologram for the King (2016)

"This film isn't a masterpiece by any means, but it is at times very good, with an unfussy jewel of a performance by Tom Hanks that's all the more remarkable for appearing so effortless." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Apr 26, 2016

Midnight Special (2016)

"The slow-drip plot mechanics lead us to assume that all our questions will eventually be answered, but what makes Midnight Special so damn frustrating is that most of them aren't even asked." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Apr 4, 2016

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

"The movie has a bullying, hostile tone that comes through in the surly performances, a callous indifference to innocents killed and the general philosophical disposition of a teenager who just discovered Nietzsche after being grounded." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Mar 24, 2016

The Brothers Grimsby (2016)

"Such a ramshackle affair that to call it slapdash would be a compliment. Yet still, I laughed like a drain." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Mar 11, 2016

Knight of Cups (2016)

"From moment to moment the technique can be rapturous, and taken out of context any given few minutes of Knight Of Cups are thrilling to watch. It's just when you have a hundred and eighteen of those minutes in a row that it becomes numbing." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Mar 4, 2016

Triple 9 (2016)

"The menu suggests filet mignon but Triple 9 turns out to be a really good cheeseburger." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Feb 25, 2016

Hail, Caesar! (2016)

" Another epistemological prank from cinema's snarkiest philosophers, "Hail, Caesar!" is a Passion Play played for giggles, with the Golden Age of Hollywood serving as the garden of Gethsemane for yet another in the Coens' long line of serious men." ‐ The ARTery
Posted Feb 8, 2016

Mojave (2016)

"An elliptical and at times preposterously entertaining load of hooey that both kids and embraces every chest-beating trope in that old 'He-Man Of Letters' tradition." ‐ The ARTery
Posted Feb 8, 2016

Body Double (1984)

"A spectacularly sleazy send-up that finds the puckish, thin-skinned director confronting his critics and doubling down on everything that upstanding, respectable people hate about Brian De Palma films." ‐ The ARTery
Posted Feb 8, 2016

Body Heat (1981)

"Amusing as this may be, there's something a bit studious about "Body Heat." Kasdan's ceiling fans and Venetian blinds often come across as film school affectations. " ‐ The ARTery
Posted Feb 8, 2016

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)

"Abrams nails the feeling of (re)visiting a rusted-out, slightly sarcastic fairy tale. Still, a few hours after the credits it's all evaporating and I'm struggling to recall a remotely original or inventive moment in the entire damn thing. " ‐ New England Movies Weekly
Posted Dec 17, 2015

Youth (2015)

"There's a reckless energy with which it lunges from one ga-ga visual flourish to another, consistency and coherence be damned." ‐ The ARTery
Posted Dec 13, 2015

In the Heart of the Sea (2015)

"But nowhere here will you find the insights into obsession and humanity that made Melville's book a classic. The movie doesn't know Dick." ‐ Movie Mezzanine
Posted Dec 13, 2015

Uncle Nick (2015)

"I spent the following 93 minutes wondering what kind of absurd bet Errol Morris must have lost to have his name associated with this dire project." ‐ Movie Mezzanine
Posted Dec 4, 2015

Chi-Raq (2015)

"A glorious provocation. At once deeply sorrowful and exuberantly silly, it's a scabrous, sexy musical comedy shot through with an almost unbearable sadness." ‐ Movie Mezzanine
Posted Dec 4, 2015

Creed (2015)

"Creed is the first Rocky sequel that feels like the first Rocky. It's human-scaled, rambling and idiosyncratic, with emotional payoffs larger than life. I spent most of the running time crying my eyes out." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Nov 24, 2015

Spotlight (2015)

"There's a flatly functional artlessness to the visuals. Spotlight is drab, sometimes bordering on ugly. It may be a film worth seeing, but there isn't much to look at." ‐ Spliced Personality
Posted Nov 24, 2015
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