Dark Town Reviews

  • Oct 01, 2013

    One line summary: Suburban dysfunction plus vampirism meets inner city gang violence. ------------- Slumlord Curtis Armstrong Sr goes to collect from his properties. He gets more than he bargained for from his tenants. He returns to his calm, safe, suburban home for his birthday. Then he starts the blood bath after being very creepy. He bites Heather, which turns her. Heather has a Latino gangster boyfriend, Cinque, who is a drug dealer. Some black youth decide to liberate Cinque's money stash, which he keeps in Heather's room. Rakeem gets two men and Kisha to go with him to do the theft. The neighborhood watch stops the black group, but Rakeem pulls a pistol on them when they were distracted. One of their party gets shot by the watch; they hide at the Armstrong house. Cinque shows up too, to get his cash. Heather kills him. The vampire monster status transfers in perhaps 20 minutes, which accelerates all the proceedings. The gang violence just serves as feeding sources for the new vampires, or whatever they are. There's a small amount of drama in whether a person can fight off the change or not. Jen and Rakeem fight if off somewhat, and try to kill all the other vampires. When that does not work too well, they take another exit. That they survived at all is just ridiculous. -----Scores----- Cinematography: 4/10 Soft focus. Too much darkness. Too many home movies that are total garbage in terms of visuals. Sound: 6/10 OK, but not great. The loud parts are way too loud, and the soft parts too soft. Acting: 1/10 Would someone please stay in the same accent? How did Rakeem go from being low on courage to being able to fight off being a vampire? Screenplay: 2/10 The first 25 minutes were almost opaque in terms of motivation. The rules for dealing with the supernatural seemed to change every so many minutes. Some consistency might have been nice. The ending was unlikely at best. Special Effects: 3/10 Horribly bad. Cheap, poor, stupid.

    One line summary: Suburban dysfunction plus vampirism meets inner city gang violence. ------------- Slumlord Curtis Armstrong Sr goes to collect from his properties. He gets more than he bargained for from his tenants. He returns to his calm, safe, suburban home for his birthday. Then he starts the blood bath after being very creepy. He bites Heather, which turns her. Heather has a Latino gangster boyfriend, Cinque, who is a drug dealer. Some black youth decide to liberate Cinque's money stash, which he keeps in Heather's room. Rakeem gets two men and Kisha to go with him to do the theft. The neighborhood watch stops the black group, but Rakeem pulls a pistol on them when they were distracted. One of their party gets shot by the watch; they hide at the Armstrong house. Cinque shows up too, to get his cash. Heather kills him. The vampire monster status transfers in perhaps 20 minutes, which accelerates all the proceedings. The gang violence just serves as feeding sources for the new vampires, or whatever they are. There's a small amount of drama in whether a person can fight off the change or not. Jen and Rakeem fight if off somewhat, and try to kill all the other vampires. When that does not work too well, they take another exit. That they survived at all is just ridiculous. -----Scores----- Cinematography: 4/10 Soft focus. Too much darkness. Too many home movies that are total garbage in terms of visuals. Sound: 6/10 OK, but not great. The loud parts are way too loud, and the soft parts too soft. Acting: 1/10 Would someone please stay in the same accent? How did Rakeem go from being low on courage to being able to fight off being a vampire? Screenplay: 2/10 The first 25 minutes were almost opaque in terms of motivation. The rules for dealing with the supernatural seemed to change every so many minutes. Some consistency might have been nice. The ending was unlikely at best. Special Effects: 3/10 Horribly bad. Cheap, poor, stupid.

  • Oct 21, 2008

    just watched about 15 mins of the film, then turned it off...guess you know what that means

    just watched about 15 mins of the film, then turned it off...guess you know what that means

  • Sep 04, 2008

    Great for 1-time watching, b-movie fun. However there is virtually no replay value. MST3000 it with some buddies and you'll have a good time.

    Great for 1-time watching, b-movie fun. However there is virtually no replay value. MST3000 it with some buddies and you'll have a good time.

  • Aug 21, 2008

    why there is no way to blame this (so called) movie with no star at all?

    why there is no way to blame this (so called) movie with no star at all?

  • Jun 05, 2008

    DARK TOWN definetly goes down on my worst films of all times list; offering soe of the worst plot, acting, and kills I have EVER seen. Please do not waste your time with this one, and it is even worse than the typical Lionsgate DTV. If I could give it Zero Stars, I would.

    DARK TOWN definetly goes down on my worst films of all times list; offering soe of the worst plot, acting, and kills I have EVER seen. Please do not waste your time with this one, and it is even worse than the typical Lionsgate DTV. If I could give it Zero Stars, I would.

  • Oct 17, 2006

    Wow. Pretty lame title. Anyway, this past weekend featured a Friday the 13th. And you know what that means...bad horror movies! I love tradition. When picking the films, I usually just go for the worst looking cover boxes. But this time I cheated because I really wanted to see The Woods. And I'm always hoping for so bad it's good. But no luck here. [b]Dark Town[/b]. Wow. I'm not even sure where to start with this movie. If I had a video camera, I could have made this. Just get a few girl friends who don't mind making out in their underwear, some cheap make-up and some actually awesome vampire fangs. Then let everyone improv their dialogue and ta-da! Instant horror in suburbia. Just avoid this. Now, [b]The Woods[/b] was a truly great movie. I'm going to watch it again when I don't have a bunch of giggling teenage girls over so I can focus more on it. But even now, I loved it. Lucky McKee ("May") rules. He's excellent at creating atmosphere, characters and keeping the film tight. Agnes Bruckner ("Peaceful Warrior") is impressive as Heather and Patricia Clarkson ("All the King's Men") is appropriately creepy as Ms. Traverse. Also, really, really good use of music. I will own this film. I gave [b]The Grudge 2 [/b]a 3 because I decided that it was, in fact, better than The Wicker Man remake. But just barely. I went in prepared to like it. I was watching it alone, late at night, in a theater with good sound and that is the perfect setup for me to freak myself out. I don't even need that much help from the movie. But about halfway into this one, I realized that this was one of the most ludicrous things I'd ever seen. Grudge 2 has three story lines. Only one of them is vaguely interesting mostly because that little boy (Matthew Knight, I think) was out-acting everyone else in the film. Then there was overuse of the creepy sound. And then the end [spoiler] if the monster can get you from inside your hoodie, then there is no point in having a film at all. No suspense. No chance of escape. How can something attack from inside your clothing (unless it's bugs or a flesh eating virus?). [/spoiler] Super, super ridiculous. And then there was [b]The Covenant: Brotherhood of Evil[/b] (known as "Canes" on imdb). I picked this because it starred the MIA Edward Furlong ("The Visitation") and Michael Madsen ("Scary Movie 4"). Please note that a good cast does not a good film make. Furlong gets passed over for a promotion at work and then gets blinded by a freak mugging incident. Madsen offers Furlong his sight back, but he must pay WITH HIS SOUL! Overly dramatic. Poorly acted. Maybe Furlong is only good in certain roles (Terminator, American History X, Animal Factory). I don't know. What I do know is that I lost interest in this movie before the half way point. So bad horror movie night only scored one winner, but I still love the tradition.

    Wow. Pretty lame title. Anyway, this past weekend featured a Friday the 13th. And you know what that means...bad horror movies! I love tradition. When picking the films, I usually just go for the worst looking cover boxes. But this time I cheated because I really wanted to see The Woods. And I'm always hoping for so bad it's good. But no luck here. [b]Dark Town[/b]. Wow. I'm not even sure where to start with this movie. If I had a video camera, I could have made this. Just get a few girl friends who don't mind making out in their underwear, some cheap make-up and some actually awesome vampire fangs. Then let everyone improv their dialogue and ta-da! Instant horror in suburbia. Just avoid this. Now, [b]The Woods[/b] was a truly great movie. I'm going to watch it again when I don't have a bunch of giggling teenage girls over so I can focus more on it. But even now, I loved it. Lucky McKee ("May") rules. He's excellent at creating atmosphere, characters and keeping the film tight. Agnes Bruckner ("Peaceful Warrior") is impressive as Heather and Patricia Clarkson ("All the King's Men") is appropriately creepy as Ms. Traverse. Also, really, really good use of music. I will own this film. I gave [b]The Grudge 2 [/b]a 3 because I decided that it was, in fact, better than The Wicker Man remake. But just barely. I went in prepared to like it. I was watching it alone, late at night, in a theater with good sound and that is the perfect setup for me to freak myself out. I don't even need that much help from the movie. But about halfway into this one, I realized that this was one of the most ludicrous things I'd ever seen. Grudge 2 has three story lines. Only one of them is vaguely interesting mostly because that little boy (Matthew Knight, I think) was out-acting everyone else in the film. Then there was overuse of the creepy sound. And then the end [spoiler] if the monster can get you from inside your hoodie, then there is no point in having a film at all. No suspense. No chance of escape. How can something attack from inside your clothing (unless it's bugs or a flesh eating virus?). [/spoiler] Super, super ridiculous. And then there was [b]The Covenant: Brotherhood of Evil[/b] (known as "Canes" on imdb). I picked this because it starred the MIA Edward Furlong ("The Visitation") and Michael Madsen ("Scary Movie 4"). Please note that a good cast does not a good film make. Furlong gets passed over for a promotion at work and then gets blinded by a freak mugging incident. Madsen offers Furlong his sight back, but he must pay WITH HIS SOUL! Overly dramatic. Poorly acted. Maybe Furlong is only good in certain roles (Terminator, American History X, Animal Factory). I don't know. What I do know is that I lost interest in this movie before the half way point. So bad horror movie night only scored one winner, but I still love the tradition.

  • Jul 06, 2005

    This movie was horrorable! Acting: Sucked EXF!: Sucked Plot: Non existant SEX! Chic on chick! Need I say more!

    This movie was horrorable! Acting: Sucked EXF!: Sucked Plot: Non existant SEX! Chic on chick! Need I say more!