Pinocchio's Revenge (1996)

My 450th review!!! Oh look, a Child's Play rip-off. How do I know? There were a few scenes in here that were very similar to ones in that movie. Acting/characters: what is one thing that you all know that I cannot abide in a horror film? KIDS!!!! Especially kids whose job in the film it to be a whiny brat. Okay, the kid in this film wasn't always that, but her acting was just horrible. I mean even by some other horror-kid standards it just sucked. It was cringe-worthy really. But the saddest part is (and I'm sure you can guess) the adults in the film were not much better. I detected not one shred of character complexity from any of them. I wouldn't mind that too much if most of them were knife fodder but alas *SPOILER!!!!!!* This movie has an incredibly low body-count *END OF SPOILER* One line is all it takes to add a whole new layer of depth to a character. But they didn't even give one thought about making interesting characters. It totally shows. 0/10 Plot: It could have been a little more interesting than it was but it was something that we had seen a million times before already. And when it delved into new areas that aren't explored as much, well, by then I didn't care because i had already shut down and was paying the minimum amount of attention that I could. it tried for a twist but the 'twist' was something that any rational audience member could see coming from a mile away. It was one of those endings that tried to stir debate between the 11 total people who have watched this film. But yeah, didn't work dudes. Aside from the ending, the rest of the plot was just as predictably bad. There is nothing in this film that tries to set itself apart from other films just like it. It was horribly done. 0/10 Screenplay: screenplay? what screenplay? Oh you mean the horridly timed and performed pieces of 'dialogue' that the actors said? You mean that? yeah, 0/10. just 0/10 Likableness: Nope. none whatsoever. it tried to be something that it wasn't, that is, original. It was not original whatsoever. The characters were boring, the plot moved along at too slow of a pace, and it just was not interesting. At least Rumpelstiltskin had a very very very mildly entertaining villain to get the story going. This one didn't really. It wasn't anything. It was just a poorly made movie that I would in no good conscience recommend to anybody even if you do happen to like really bad horror films. I think it would bore a lot of die-hard horror fans. It doesn't even have unintentional laughs. 0/10 Final Score: 0/40 0% (S) Tomatometer rating: 33% Tomatometer rating if my review was added: 25% No trivia time for this one. Well, maybe the fact that some of the shots kinda look like they are out of the original Halloween.

For a movie about a killing doll, this one is very boring (well, it's also stupid, but you already knew that reading the title, right?). There are some good laughs to be had at the movies expense, but they are far between.