Ted 2 (2015)
Critic Consensus: Ted 2 reunites Mark Wahlberg and Seth MacFarlane for another round of sophomoric, scatological humor -- and just as before, your enjoyment will depend on your tolerance for all of the above.
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as John Bennett
as Samantha Jackson
as Patrick Meighan
as Shep Wild
as Fertility Doctor
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Critic Reviews for Ted 2
Being awful is still no substitute for being funny - but Seth MacFarlane's talking teddy bear sequel does manage some laughs anyway.
If you're ready to go with the hit-and-miss flow, you'll laugh your ass off.
If you liked the original Ted, Seth MacFarlane's 2012 surprise smash about a pot-smoking, potty-mouthed teddy bear, then you will probably like Ted 2. It is essentially the exact same movie, and more - and less.
Audience Reviews for Ted 2
If you thought this cuddly teddy bear couldn't possibly get anymore racist and offensive...well, you'd be wrong. Seth MacFarlane is back utilising all the same visual gag styles, cameos and voice actors/actresses that basically make this yet another [i]Family Guy[/i] flick, yeah it so is. Everything supposedly starts from where the previous movie left off but because I can't really remember a damn thing about the previous movie, I'm not entirely sure. That doesn't really say much for the first flick does it, or maybe me, I dunno. So Ted (the living teddy bear) now lives and is married to a sexy blonde chick, right there its weird already. Yes, yes I realise this is a fantasy movie about a living toy, but why the hell would a female human wanna marry a toy? how could that person even fall in actual love with a toy?? and thus we have our plot. The story this time is all about Ted fighting for his civil rights after he declared to be mere property and not an actual person, kinda understandable. This is discovered after he applies to adopt a kid. Basically this is an SJW's wet dream of a movie...if it wasn't so unbelievably offensive, which admittedly, is the best bloody thing about the film. So lets address that right now, the nasty offensive bits, gags and dialog so un-PC its all enough to make your average extreme lefty huff n puff like a steam train. In all honesty this film doesn't have too much going for it, but the risque bits do admittedly manage to raise a smile, an embarrassed awkward smile. As with [i]Family Guy[/i] the jokes can be close to bone, but with the miracle of movies that barrier is blown away allowing outrightly offensive humdingers. When Ted and Wahlberg go to their local sperm bank you just know something will happen...involving sperm, sure enough. Now the outcome here is absolutely cheap and disgusting, but you can't help but smirk at the gag levels of revulsion here. Yes Wahlberg ends up covered in cum, no brainer, but its the gag from Ted that accompanies this which really sticks out. 'You're covered in rejected black guy sperm, you look like a Kardashian', holy matted fur! if that's not asking for trouble. As with MacFarlane's animated series other gags come and go in much the same manner as you'd expect, basically they are just outtakes or cameos for a quick laugh and nothing more. Through that we see a tame 'Taken' gag with Liam Neeson, and an amusing quickie with the duo at a stand-up comic routine as they throw out highly sensitive suggestions for the comics joke. Along with that there is of course plenty of dialog using various words and terms that are deemed derogatory but are clearly used to push the boundaries and shock. What is actually more interesting is the moral conundrum of whether Ted, being a toy, would actually attain civil rights as a person. Its the same notion as futuristic robots that might attain a certain level of intelligence, at what point do they go beyond being a simple object and become an individual, a sentient being, is that even possible? As is argued in the movie, Ted is able to feel love, compassion, anger etc...he has emotions and can obviously think for himself, so does that qualify him as human despite the fact he's clearly not, he' still an actual toy built by Hasbro. Its a genuinely interesting debate which has good points on both sides, should Ted be allowed to attain a driving license and drive cars? would that be safe? could and should you be able to marry a person to a toy? etc...What I did find amusing and eye-rollingly typical was the fact that in the end they needed a black activist (Morgan Freeman) to win the decision for them. So did they win the appeal because everyone was afraid to go against a black civil rights attorney? no, of course not, but it kinda felt that way. Oh and how about Hasbro being made out to be the evil corporation here, I wonder how they got them to agree with that, its not exactly the image you'd want for a kids toy company. As you approach the climax (if you can call it that), the plot swings into a comic convention, something which I felt was kind of a cheap move. In what way can we attract as many people as possible to our adult comedy? have the finale in a comic convention with a shittonne of nerdy film and TV references. And there you have it, a bit of a cop-out frankly, you could have set the finale absolutely anywhere and it wouldn't have made much difference, but they go with a comic con for easy pop culture references. Do I blame them? no I guess not, but come on, way too obvious. I still find myself asking the same questions that I probably asked in the first movie, and probably wrote in my review. How and why does Ted appear to eat and drink? how does he use a smartphone in this film? (no fingers), why would he get turned on by human women when he's a toy? why would a human female get turned on and fall in love with a toy?? (with no willy). Has everybody in the world just accepted that this toy came to life? no one ever thought to do what the evil Giovanni Ribisi thought of doing? Then of course you have all the same criticisms from the first movie basically because its a Seth McFarlane live action [i]Family Guy[/i] flick and nothing more. So in that sense you have to enjoy his brand of comedy to enjoy this, if not then forget about it. I do enjoy his animated series to a degree and, again, to a degree I did kinda enjoy this but its very limited. Lots of drunken, booze fuelled, porn filled, controversial, puerile sophomoric humour, I can take it or leave it, some of it worked, much didn't.
Better than the first one. The Tom Brady and the sperm bank scenes are hilarious.
Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane always struck me as the type of humorist that had a seemingly endless amount of jokes. His animated show has been hugely successful for years and seems to have the ability that The Simpsons has, in terms of staying power and maintaining a high standard of entertainment. However, that ability to provide the goods is severely lacking from this second instalment. In order to make his marriage work, Ted (Seth McFarlane) and his new wife Lynn (Jessica Bartha) decide to have a baby and go looking for a suitable sperm donor. However, in the eyes of the law Ted is not a human and therefore unable to adopt or even for his marriage to remain legal, setting forth a struggle for him to prove his place in society. When he delivered Ted in 2012, fans of McFarlane's humour were happy with his transition into feature length and with a profane and anthropomorphised new character in tow, he was on to a winner. Ted was a comedy gimmick that worked and I was happy to see more when this sequel was announced. That said, this doesn't bring anything new to the table and is so boring you're likely to fall asleep halfway through our cuddly friend's one syllable name. The jokes (if you can even call them that) are regurgitated but this time they really don't stick. It's hard to imagine that the creator of Family Guy actually had anything to do with this. I'm not one who's easily offended. In fact, I actually welcome risquÃ (C) jokes but a film that has nothing more to offer other than how many black penises appear on the Internet every time you use a search engine frankly verges on racism and isn't even a funny gag the first time, never mind the third or fourth attempt. It's never a good sign when you feel the need to force out a few disingenuous laughs but I found myself doing that here. I was almost trying to convince myself that there was something here but I should've known from the start; the song-and-dance sequence alone is overlong and, ultimately, pointless and from the outset you get the feeling that McFarlane has started padding before the opening credits have even finished. Call me old fashioned but I was always under the impression that a comedy should actually consist of, erm... comedy. This whole, misjudged, cock-centric affair is absolutely bereft of humour and considering it's so overly concerned with the male genitalia it's actually quite limp and fails to perform when it matters. It only succeeds in being turgid, tedious and a hugely disappointing and desperate attempt to recreate it's predecessor's wonder and magic. This is a one trick teddy, overstuffed with a (fully justified) inferiority complex. Ted's inability to procreate echoed that of my feelings towards the film itself. To paraphrase wiser fellas than myself... it's a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. Mark Walker
Ted 2 Quotes
|Ted:||That's what you get for fucking exercising!|
|Tami-Lynn:||Teddy ain't got no dick.|
|Ted:||What's you're middle name?|
|John Bennett:||Oh my god, you're Sam L. Jackson!|
|Samantha Jackson:||Who is that?|
|Ted:||Haven't you seen any movie ever? He's the black guy.|
|Ted Toy Voice:||There are no chicks with dicks, Johnny only guys with tits!|
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