F This Movie!

F This Movie! is not a Tomatometer-approved publication. Reviews from this publication only count toward the Tomatometer® when written by the following Tomatometer-approved critic(s): Michelle Swope, Patrick Bromley
Rating Title/Year Author
Jiu Jitsu (2020) Patrick Bromley Entertainingly insane and insanely entertaining, Jiu Jitsu is bonkers action cinema of the highest order. EDIT
Posted Nov 18, 2020
Lucky (2020) Patrick Bromley Kermani and Grant have made a movie that demands to be seen and deserves to be examined and discussed. EDIT
Posted Oct 21, 2020
The Dark and the Wicked (2020) Patrick Bromley What The Strangers is to home invasion horror, this movie is to supernatural horror: an intense and relentless exercise that never ignores the characters or emotional elements in the telling of its story. EDIT
Posted Sep 9, 2020
The Owners (2020) Patrick Bromley Once you figure out what The Owners has in store, it's just a waiting game to watch it play out. EDIT
Posted Sep 4, 2020
Alone (2020) Patrick Bromley A very straightforward survival thriller, but done with such skill and confidence that it stands above its contemporaries EDIT
Posted Sep 4, 2020
() Patrick Bromley For fans of the company's output, Shakespeare's Shitstorm is another Tromasterpiece. Everyone else may want to steer clear. EDIT
Posted Sep 4, 2020
The Curse of Audrey Earnshaw (2020) Patrick Bromley Gorgeously photographed, quietly acted, haunting in its cumulative effect. EDIT
Posted Aug 27, 2020
12 Hour Shift (2020) Patrick Bromley This is a terrific movie about bad people doing worse things. EDIT
Posted Aug 27, 2020
The Columnist (2020) Patrick Bromley This is a movie that's very well directed and very well acted (particularly by Herbers in the lead) and so of the moment that I have to give it a ton of credit even if it didn't come together all the way for me. EDIT
Posted Aug 24, 2020
The Mortuary Collection (2019) Patrick Bromley A horror anthology that gets it right. EDIT
Posted Aug 24, 2020
Jumbo (2020) Michelle Swope Whittock's writing makes the characters feel genuine and Merlant's quirky but exquisite performance as Jeanne make Jumbo a heartwarming story. EDIT
Posted May 28, 2020
Exit Wounds (2001) Patrick Bromley This might be the last time a Steven Seagal movie felt like a real movie. EDIT
Posted Apr 23, 2020
S.W.A.T. (2003) Patrick Bromley About as straightforward as action movies of this period get. I mean that in a good way. EDIT
Posted Apr 23, 2020
On Deadly Ground (1994) Patrick Bromley This is more than just a vanity project for Seagal. It's also his first real stinker. It would not be his last. EDIT
Posted Apr 23, 2020
The Mercenary (2019) Patrick Bromley It's not one of my favorite Jesse V. Johnson joints, but it's still really badass when it wants to be and an action movie I'd recommend to any hardcore #HeavyAction fans. EDIT
Posted Apr 23, 2020
China O'Brien (1988) Patrick Bromley The movie is just ok, but Rothrock is awesome. EDIT
Posted Apr 23, 2020
Color Out of Space (2019) Patrick Bromley Richard Stanley is back, and he's brought the best Lovecraft adaptation in 30 years with him. EDIT
Posted Jan 24, 2020
Beyond the Gates (2016) Patrick Bromley A movie exploding with affection for the kinds of movies that inspired it. EDIT
Posted Oct 31, 2019
The Belko Experiment (2016) Patrick Bromley One of the bloodiest, most savage wide releases I've seen in a long, long time. EDIT
Posted Oct 31, 2019
Begin Again (2013) Patrick Bromley Plays like a studio remake of Once, retaining some of the ideas and the heart but bogging them down with clumsy filmmaking and bad choices. EDIT
Posted Oct 31, 2019
Batkid Begins: The Wish Heard Around the World (2015) Patrick Bromley Sweet and winning and makes us all feel a little better about the world in which we live EDIT
Posted Oct 31, 2019
Bad Words (2014) Patrick Bromley It is capable of being funny, sure, but it's a movie that works way better in its dramatic moments. EDIT
Posted Oct 31, 2019
The Babadook (2014) Patrick Bromley Is to parenting what The Shining is to alcoholism. EDIT
Posted Oct 31, 2019
Animals (2014) Patrick Bromley A deeply human and heartbreaking love story. EDIT
Posted Oct 31, 2019
American Sniper (2014) Patrick Bromley This is a story that requires more than basic competence. EDIT
Posted Oct 31, 2019
Almost Human (2013) Patrick Bromley It's fun in the way that '80s horror was fun, particularly when it begins to let it rip with the gore effects, which it finally does during its bloody climax. EDIT
Posted Oct 31, 2019
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006) Patrick Bromley The scares aren't really there, the gore is mostly uninteresting and the characters are difficult to care about. EDIT
Posted Oct 31, 2019
All Cheerleaders Die (2013) Patrick Bromley The movie has a sassy sense of humor, attitude to spare and plenty of playful energy -- all good stuff. But it's basically a mess. EDIT
Posted Oct 31, 2019
Aftershock (2012) Patrick Bromley Doggedly determined to prove that the world is awful, but shows no interest in taking responsibility for its own awfulness. EDIT
Posted Oct 31, 2019
31 (2016) Patrick Bromley It's what you might expect a Rob Zombie movie to be if he had never made another movie, much less some of the most interesting and distinctive horror films of the last 10-15 years. EDIT
Posted Oct 31, 2019
24 Exposures (2013) Patrick Bromley This is Joe Swanberg's De Palma movie, simultaneously laying bare and indulging in his obsessions. EDIT
Posted Oct 31, 2019
10 Years (2011) Patrick Bromley It is a movie of small truths, usually well observed. EDIT
Posted Oct 31, 2019
10 Cloverfield Lane (2016) Patrick Bromley Even if there are some storytelling choices that don't land quite as well for me as some of the earlier beats, I cannot say enough about the filmmaking technique on display. EDIT
Posted Oct 31, 2019
Haunt (2019) Patrick Bromley This is a slick, well-directed exercise, one that knows how to build tension and generate a scare. EDIT
Posted Sep 13, 2019
Tone-Deaf (2019) Patrick Bromley Taught, nightmarish, and totally bold, Tone-Deaf is a singular horror film that works as both a quasi-slasher and as satire. EDIT
Posted Aug 25, 2019
Avengement (2019) Patrick Bromley This is a hard-hitting movie, the kind where the violence is stylized less so that it looks cool and more so that you feel every blow. I got bruises just watching it. EDIT
Posted May 24, 2019
4/5 Saint Frances (2019) Patrick Bromley Tonally delicate and loving towards every single one of its characters, it's the kind of indie that gives indie movies a good name. EDIT
Posted May 23, 2019
3.5/5 Brittany Runs a Marathon (2019) Patrick Bromley The best kind of crowd-pleaser: one you don't have to feel bad about liking because it doesn't talk down to you. EDIT
Posted May 23, 2019
3.5/5 Olympic Dreams (2019) Patrick Bromley Call it Lost in Translation with more sports. EDIT
Posted May 21, 2019
4/5 John Wick: Chapter 3 -- Parabellum (2019) Patrick Bromley There's no way we're getting a better action movie this year. EDIT
Posted May 21, 2019
4/5 Long Shot (2019) Patrick Bromley A smartly written, very funny, and genuinely romantic movie that does what it sets out to do: present two likable people who are very different and try its best to show them honestly develop feelings for one another. EDIT
Posted May 6, 2019
3/5 Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase (2019) Patrick Bromley The kind of movie I want my kids to see, presenting young people who are smart and resourceful and good-hearted instead of self-entitled punks living in a world without consequences. EDIT
Posted Apr 26, 2019
2.5/5 Small Crimes (2017) Patrick Bromley The movie continues to make the case that Evan Katz is a huge talent, but it also fails to really excite me the way his last movie did. EDIT
Posted Nov 2, 2018
3/5 Wonder Woman (2017) Patrick Bromley Easily joins the ranks of some of the best first outings for a superhero in the last two decades. EDIT
Posted Nov 2, 2018
2.5/5 Cars 3 (2017) Patrick Bromley Feels a little like Pixar pondering its own legacy. EDIT
Posted Nov 2, 2018
3.5/5 Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) Patrick Bromley Lacking a bit of an emotional component present in some past Spider-Man movies, but makes up for it with sheer fun and entertainment value. EDIT
Posted Nov 2, 2018
2.5/5 Dunkirk (2017) Patrick Bromley Dunkirk wants to go out of its way to avoid war movie cliches until it doesn't, at which point it embraces nearly all of them. EDIT
Posted Nov 2, 2018
2.5/5 Death Note (2017) Patrick Bromley While it didn't exactly inspire me to rush out and track down the other adaptations, it did once again remind me of what a talent Adam Wingard is. EDIT
Posted Nov 2, 2018
2/5 The Houses October Built 2 (2017) Patrick Bromley Content to send the same characters down the same path with what appears on the surface to be the same results. EDIT
Posted Nov 2, 2018
3/5 Gerald's Game (2017) Patrick Bromley Gerald's Game may be an imperfect adaptation, but it's an adaptation that couldn't exist without these actors and this director. EDIT
Posted Nov 2, 2018