KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park

Cast & Crew

KISS

Anthony Zerbe

Abner Devereaux

Deborah Ryan

Melissa

Gordon Hessler

Director

Critic Reviews for KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park

Audience Reviews for KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park

• Jun 14, 2014

  In an otherwordly metaphysical realm and alternate perpendicular Universe(?) where King Wiseau the First reigns supreme after the death of King Ed Wood Jr. I, Prince George Hessler directed the first Hanna-Barbera Production in association with KISS Productions. Filmed as a 50s sci-fi B movie set in the 70s with rock scenes for cashing in with the naive hope of covering the negative cost of the film's production, this was the film responsible for destroying the group as we know it, being a terrible financial success and convincing the KISS members to separate and follow solo careers. Now, before attempting to surpass the film's level of brilliance with my own words, a brilliance that surely I am not getting due to my mortal thought capacities, I am sure that the description of the elements of the movie will be more interesting than any courage I can muster to write a coherent "review" about them. The setting is an amusement park, which is about to feature a live KISS concert. Some guy named Abner Devereaux, who developed the amusement park and the scientific designs of the technological attractions, has just been reasonably fired for ignoring safety standards in his attempt to create more ambitious park attractions. Indeed, one attraction fails, putting the lives of several people in danger. After this event, obviously, this random scientific, whom we had no idea was supposed to become the VILLAIN of the story, now justifiably wants to "get rid of" all the young attendants and "get rid of" KISS, because he now hates KISS. Why does he hate KISS? Who cares??????? Let's keep the plot moving!! Hating KISS obviously involves hating adolescents. That's obvious, derp! With his advanced knowledge of animatronics and his Dr.-Evil-ish intentions, he builds an army of zombie robots (do not even start to ask me what's the logic behind the term "zombie robot") in his evil scientific underground facilities full of underground evil scientific stuff. He starts to kidnap adolescents and builds chips also with the intentions of controlling their minds and using them for his evil scientific purposes of destruction!! Everything is lost!! No, wait! Here comes KISS, with extraordinary fighting powers to save the day (and Rock & Roll all night, duh!!!) that surpass several physical laws, which include: ?Laser-shooting! ?Telepathic and telekinetic powers! ?Fuckin' Kung-Fu! ?Super-jumps that defy gravity! ?More fuckin' Kung-Fu! ?Fire Breathing! ?Lion Roaring! Suck on that, Kung-Fu Hustle! ?Fire Breathing and Lion Roaring... at the same time!! ?cyhydidh ?Jestetgreighukbjka ?001010001010100101010101001 ?error 404: logical and coherence not found. Please shoot your head. 24/100

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  Super Reviewer
• Jul 10, 2007

  The opening scenes with giant KISS members playing behind the amusement park rides was superb. I remember this being an awesome superhero movie with KISS members having great adventures. When I rewatched as an adult it was lacking in enough fun. It sounds like great campy fun, but KISS is not in enough scenes, damnit! When they do appear, it's awesome beyond belief. Their dialogue is beautiful to the ears. I also remember KISS appearing on a Donnie and Marie Halloween Special.

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  Lafe F Super Reviewer
• Jul 02, 2007

  If there was ever a movie that defined guilty pleasure it would be this one. The plot here is a amusement park has invited KISS for a series of concerts. However, the mastermind behind creating the park is a loopy guy (Anthony Zerbe--who made a career out of playing evil and slimy villains) and he hates KISS--though you are never exactly sure why. But, because Zerbe does not control the park, he is forced to spend most of his time living underneath the park--perfecting his weird audio-animatronic creations (similar to Disney's but even more evil). But, when Zerbe is fired, he vows revenge and unleashes his army of robot zombies!! Egad! Can anyone help? Is there any hope? Well, sure...as it turns out that KISS is actually made up of superheroes who make the X-Men look like losers. The Star Child (Paul Stanley) can shoot lasers out of his eyes and sing well. The Demon (Gene Simmons) can growl like a lion, shoot fire out of his mouth and sing...not so well (but he makes up for it by singing loudly). The Space Ace (Ace Frehley) can appear and disappear at will (sort of like his career with KISS, actually). And, the Cat...is a guy painted like a cat. So how do they have all these cool powers (that look really cheesy on film, by the way) They have a case with magic talismans which enable them to live many lives, play great tunes (sometimes) and shoot things out of their bodies (I'll say no more). So, Zerbe can't get himself a decent hairdo, but he is able to figure out that his next step is to steal these talismans. Unfortunately, they (like most talismans) are protected by a force field and his robot-zombie can't get them--that is until Zerbe creates a cool ray gun which renders the force field inert (by the way, how did he test this to know that it would work?!). In addition, he has created four exact replicas who will take KISS' place after they are kidnapped. Step one (get the talismans) and step two (kidnap KISS) work out great, but considering that Zerbe did not appear to have a step three it's not surprising that it all fell apart at the end. You'd think step three would be global domination or at least getting some hot chicks, but you never hear or see anything that would indicate there is any plan other than to replace KISS with robots (and, judging by this movie, this might have already been done by some other mad scientist before filming began) What can I say but not only is this movie a guilty pleasure but its so bad its good. To sum up here, its fun for Kiss fans and fans of bad cinema

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  Super Reviewer