The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part
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With perhaps one too many homages to a classic to be seen as truly original, Primal Rage... is still an exciting entry into the criminally sparse Bigfoot genre.
As civilisation fast gives way to the wilderness, Primal Rage becomes ever more brutal and gory, while introducing some witchy, peyote-inflected Native mysticism that never quite fits the rest of the film's tone.
Bigfoot is an interesting topic to debate. I say this because, for the most part, if you say you believe in the existence of Bigfoot, for some people outside of that box of believers (if you will), that makes you a point of mockery. And I've never liked that. I mean there's 'conspiracy theories', if Bigfoot even falls into that category, that deserve the mockery. Like, as an example, believing the earth is flat. The earth is not flat, you dumbfucks. Stop being contrarians for the sake of debating people with your fallacies and accept the facts in front of you. The thing about conspiracy theories and videos on things such as the flat earth theory is that they're designed to say a lot of things that might make sense when you don't really scrutinize them. When you do, the theory falls apart. I've heard some people say that there's this hologram AROUND THE FUCKING EARTH that gives it the appearance of being dome shaped, but it's really actually flat. Like, seriously, how fucking ridiculous is that? With no proof whatsoever. That there are SOME inconsistencies is in some footage is not to be denied. However inconsistencies are not hard facts. I need actual hard facts. Climate change denies deserve mockery too. Regardless, I feel that the point I'm trying to make is that an ape-like, bipedal creature that roams the Pacific Northwest's wilderness isn't really THAT unbelievable. That vast wilderness has not been explored in-depth, so who the fuck knows what types of creatures are hiding in it. I'm not saying it's true either, I'm just saying that it's far more likely than most given the vastness of the wilderness in question and the fact that we have barely explored it. With that said, it's sort of interesting to me that given the fact that Bigfoot/Yeti/Oh-Mah seems something made for horror that the Bigfoot horror subgenre isn't as packed as you might think it probably should be. There's a few here and there, but not that many. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, of course, since, when some filmmakers get their hands on a trend, they beat it into the ground. Though, to be fair, there's not that much different from Bigfoot from a lot of other creature features. With that said, I would like to give this film props for attempting to mix it up a bit with the fact that they tie Bigfoot's existence back to Native Indian mysticism. I think that gives the film a different flavor than just generic husband and wife fight attempt to survive against Bigfoot's attack. Story is simple, this guy is released from prison after a year, his wife is driving him home, they get into an accident, Max (the guy) is hit by a rock thrown by Bigfoot, he falls into the river, unconscious, and Ashley (his wife) jumps in after him. After saving him, the next day they attempt to traverse the woods in order to find their way back to their car, that they left on the side of the road. They come across a group of schoolyard bullies disguised as middle-aged hunters that they ask for help. Shit goes awry when Bigfoot starts hunting them down. There's also this Native Indian sheriff, aside of that, investigating a series of disappearances that the townspeople believe Bigfoot is responsible for and that the cop, being an Indian, knows something about it. I don't know, that logic is never really explained. This cop is not superstitious and does not believe Bigfoot is behind it. So, of course, he goes to this ritual, drinks some peyote, has some trippy hallucinations and comes to believe it IS Bigfoot. It should also be noted that Bigfoot kidnaps Ashley, takes her to his cave and rapes her. Yes, you read that right. Bigfoot rapes Ashley. Like I've said before, rape is a really sensitive topic to explore in movies, particularly a genre that is seen as exploitative as horror. I'm not saying rape can't be used to tell a strong story, I'm just saying that you need to be really sensitive in how you approach the topic. And this movie approaches it in such a throwaway manner that it's honestly really fucking offensive. Bigfoot rapes the woman. Why? Because she's the woman and they think the only way they can get you to sympathize with her and root for her in her fight against Bigfoot is to let her be raped. It's not even treated as if it's that big of a deal, honestly. If you kept watching the movie you might have even forgotten about it. That's how you know it's shit, because it's not relevant in the immediate aftermath. You could make the argument that it's all implied and nothing is confirmed, but I feel that somehow makes it even worse. And there's no way it didn't happen. In short, the film's usage of rape as a throwaway plot device to cause more suffering is awful. With that out of the way, given the fact that the scene itself wasn't the focus of the entire film (like the rape was in a film like Don't Cry Mommy, a dreadful flick), this ended up being a fairly decent movie. I really wanted this to be good, given the fact that they do some fairly interesting things with the concept as opposed to just being another creature feature, with the whole Native Indian angle, but there's pacing feels doesn't really do the films any favor. There's comes a moment, where all three central characters are split up (though the sheriff is attempting to find Ashley and Max throughout most of the movie). Anyway, Ashley is kidnapped by Bigfoot, Max is knocked out and dragged back to this cabin by this Whispering Woman, who looks like a witch, and the sheriff is giving in to the superstitions in order to, maybe, find the couple. And this just feels like padding out the length of the movie. If this was fifteen minutes shorter, you might be looking at a higher rating, but it wasn't fifteen minutes shorter, so this movie gets an average score as a result. Maybe a 2.75 if I wanted to do quarter-ratings instead of half-ratings. Another weird thing is that, after the sheriff drinks the peyote, he leaves the teepee they were performing this ritual at, he looks to the sky, the clouds parted and the next scene he's already found Max at this witch's cabin. Wait, what??? I feel like there was something you should have shown us but didn't. There's a missing piece. You're obviously supposed to connect the dots yourself, but the sheriff was tripping balls when he got out of the teepee, I don't know what happened in the time when he left the teepee and when he found Max. I feel like that's somehow important. Having said that, however, I have to give a lot of props to the make-up FX team for doing a great job with the Bigfoot design and the gore itself, which is excellent. Easily the best part of the movie. Though, to be fair, the acting is fairly solid as well, all things considered. There's this one really bad scene with one actress, whose husband has gone missing, and she's chastising the sheriff since, once again, he must know something because he's an Indian. I don't know who this woman was, but she was awful. I hate to sound insensitive, but she sounded like she was deaf. This woman only has one credit on her IMDB page and it's this movie. It clearly shows, because she was downright horrendous. Unnatural, she couldn't even point at the sheriff correctly and pointing is like 70% of what she did. Just awful. Anyway, she's really the only one and her scene is incredibly brief, like maybe even less than a minute. One very noticeable minute, but one minute nonetheless. Everyone else is perfectly fine. Though the actress who played Ashley had an incredibly annoying voice when she was crying and panicking when she thought Max had drowned. I don't really have much else to say, honestly. As a whole, this is actually a well-made movie. I like how it was shot, I like its cinematography and I loved its make-up effects and gore. The fact is that the movie is more let down by some pacing issues. There's no way this movie should have been this long and the movie obviously suffers for it. The script also isn't perfect, but it got the job done. This is actually a surprisingly solidly made movie, it's just that its pacing issues really dragged it down to an average rating.
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