Small Soldiers Reviews
A line of army toys known as the Commando Elite are placed with military chips that make them walk and talk intelligently - this new toy line causes living hell for Alan and his family and friends, who must protect themselves from the clutches of the Commandos, who wage war on them for hiding their sworn enemy, the misunderstood Gorgonites.
Small Soldiers seems alright in its first half hour. With a seemingly promising story, although blatantly created to rival that of Toy Story's fame, it seems entertaining enough. When the Commando characters are introduced, we are treated to a horde of lifeless, army cronies led by an even duller Tommy Lee Jones portraying the trigger happy captain Chip Hazard. The story is ruined by this addition of waging war, with repeated slapstick antics made by the Commandos becoming tiring and idiotic. The overall story proves that it doesn't have much to work with because we see the same kind of storytelling over and over - the Commandos destroy some stuff, attack the humans, and are packed with weapons. The element of the original bad guys, the Gorgonites, being the real good guys creates a misfit gang of supposedly humorous and misunderstood rejects like a wisecracking comedian and a giant eye - Small Soldiers is pretty ridiculous. The story is way too mean spirited to be likable because it's practically if the green army men from Toy Story decided to kill Woody and Buzz instead of being humorous parodies of army cliches. The Commandos are dull and lifeless, but our Gorgonite protagonists are admitedly annoying. The acting is mediocre at best - Phil Hartman always delivers in his roles, but Dunst and the other slew of forgettable actors are noticably bland. Small Soldiers doesn't deliver well and leaves viewers dissatisifed with what could have been a genius idea turned into a bland, mean spirited take on Toy Story with machine guns.