John Leguizamo

Oh look at you. This is great. You're gonna come into my shop and you're gonna pull a gun on me. That's great, man. Come on! Now, you either kill me right now or you get the fuck out of my shop!

Stop being angry.

I'm not mad.

You are.

Stop being angry.

I'm not mad.

You are.

Why did you hit my son?

Because he stole John Wick's car and killed his dog.

Oh.

Look at his little baby hands he`s so cute!

Look at his little baby hands! He's so cute!

I know my berries!

Granny? You're alive!

...And can we say how thrilled we are to see you...

And can we say how thrilled we are to see you...

Aaah! Hold me!

You know, my mother once told me that bad news was just good news in disguise.

Was this before she abandoned you?

Yes it was..

Yes it was...

Get down! Get down, and follow me.

What are you saying?

There's an ambush waiting for you.

What do you mean ambush.....? You set us up.

I was my job. I was supposed to bring the baby, then....

You brought us home for dinner!!!

That's it, you're out of the herd!

I'm sorry.

No, you're not! Not, yet!

Give it up Sid. You know humans can't talk.

Diego!!

Diego!

Nine lives, baby.

Colonel stars and stripes reporting for duty

Colonel stars and stripes reporting for duty.

Save it for a mammal that cares.

I'm a mammal that cares.

Was she corpulent, very corpulent?

No, she was just really round.

Ah, Big Bertha, the bouncer at the Boom-Boom Bar!

(in unison) Are you all right?

(in unison) Are you all right?

Age has no reality except in the physical world. The essence of a human being is resistant to the passage of time. Our inner lives are eternal, which is to say that our spirits remain as youthful and vigorous as when we were in full bloom.

Yippee! We're being rescued, we're being rescued!

We're the last spin on the reel before it stops for good.

Looks like God left the phone off the hook.

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

I've got a snack for you! [Throws up a prone]

She cooks too!

Surrender you ship, or face my fury!

Or face your furry what?

Not furry. FURY!

No. It's Luigi Mario. Se because we're brothers, we gotta have the same last name.

No. It's Luigi Mario. See because we're brothers, we gotta have the same last name.

This water's a little.... SALTY!

This water's a little... SALTY!

I got a feeling we're not in Brooklyn no more.

(finding out that he and Sid just kissed) Why are we kissing?

[finding out that he and Sid just kissed] Why are we kissing?

Because cruises are romantic?

I hope there's a good movie on this flight!

[Gasps] Mom! Dad!

Come on ocean is that the best you can do?

Peek a boo! I see you!

Holly crab!

Oh, I know what you've got. The L word.

Yeah, leprosy.

No, its four letters, starts with L and ends with E.

Oh yeah, lice!

No!!

No!

My mother once told me that bad news was just good news in disguise.

Is this before she abandoned you?

Yes it was.

Just get me to a hospital.

A hospital? Have you looked in a mirror lately, burnt man walking? Even the entire cast of "E.R." couldn't put you back together again.

A hospital? Have you looked in a mirror lately, burnt man walking? Even the entire cast of 'E.R.' couldn't put you back together again.

"Your pretty soft for a saber"

Your pretty soft for a saber.

"Excuse me I happen to be a remoralse assassin"

Excuse me I happen to be a remoralse assassin.

"Oh Diego poo! I made you another coral neckless. He keeps losing them. Hehehe la-la-la-la"

Oh Diego poo! I made you another coral neckless. He keeps losing them. Hehehe la-la-la-la.

[Sing-song voice] Oh, Diego-poo! Hey, I made you another coral necklace! [To Shira] He keeps losing them! [Laughs, then skips away] Da da da, da da da...

May I try? [Performing a dance] Wooga, wooga, wooga, wooga! Pooda, pooda, pooda, pooda! [Blows raspberries]

Hey! There really is a rainbow around every corner!

We're being rescued! We're being rescued!

Whoa! Excuse me!

May I try?

My mom always said that bad news was just good news in disguise.

My mom always said that bad news was just good news in disguise.

Was this before she abandoned you?

Yes, it was.

That the best you got, ocean?

[Tauntingly] Ha-ha! Is that the best you got, ocean? [A huge crab comes out from the sea] HOLY CRAB!

Ow!

Two words: Anger management.

[Whacks Sid in the back of the head with his trunk]

Ow!

Whoa!

Holy crab!

Granny, you're alive!

Granny, grab my paw!

Granny, grab my paw!

Sid: Is that the best you got ocean?.............HOLY CRAB!!!!

Is that the best you got ocean? HOLY CRAB!

Well, I think mating for life is stupid. I mean, there's plenty of Sid to go around.

The baby? Please. I was just returning it to its herd.

Oh, yeah. Nice try, Bucktooth.

You calling me a liar?

I didn't say that.

You were thinking it.

[whispering, to Manny] I don't like this cat. He reads minds.

[about the baby] I bet he's hungry.

How 'bout some milk?

Ooh, I'd love some!

Not you. The baby.

Well, I ain't exactly lactating right now, pal.

You're a little low on the food chain to be mouthing off, aren't you...

[in a shout that echoes] ENOUGH!

From now on, you'll have to refer to me as "Sid, Lord of the Flame."

From now on, you'll have to refer to me as 'Sid, Lord of the Flame.'

Hey, Lord of the Flame, your tail's on fire.

Takes a true friend to stab you right in the front, doesn't it?

Thanks for waiting. [lies down on geyser]

[with Diego] Three, two, one. [geyser shoots Sid up in the air]

Sure is faithful. [baby claps]

They left without me. They do this every year. Why? Doesn't anyone love me? Isn't there anyone who cares about Sid the Sloth?

I'm gonna nail Morelli.

I'm gonna nail Morelli.

[Arguing with Diego] I ain't exactly lactating right now, pal!

Hey, Manny. Aren't you forgettin' somethin'?

Diego, you hold the baby.

[To Diego, referring to Roshan] Here, you hold it.

[to Diego, referring to Roshan] Here, you hold it.

[Bonks Sid on the head, who sticks his tongue out; then he shakes his head and wakes up]

[bonks Sid on the head, who sticks his tongue out; then he shakes his head and wakes up]

[Upon seeing Manny and Ellie's newborn child] It's a boy!

[upon seeing Manny and Ellie's newborn child] It's a boy!

That's her tail.

It's a girl!

Mommy!

[Touched] I'm their mommy.

[touched] I'm their mommy.

[Being chased by an ox, whom he tried to milk] I THOUGHT YOU WERE A FEMALE!

[being chased by an ox, whom he tried to milk] I THOUGHT YOU WERE A FEMALE!

We're gonna live! ...We're gonna DIE!

There's Mario Mario and Luigi Mario!

The story is about...it's about...about

It's about love!

Love?

Love. Overcoming all obstacles.

And it's set in Switzerland!

Switzerland?

It's not in Switzerland!

INDIA! It's set in India! And there's this courtesan. The most beautiful courtesan in all the world. But her kingdom's been invaded by an evil mah rajah. And in order to save her kingdom, she must seduce the evil mah rajah. But on the night of the seduction, she mistakes a penniless.... a penniless sitar player for the evil mah rajah. And she falls in love with him! He wasn't trying to trick her or anything. It's just that he was dressed as a mah rajah because he's appearing in a play.

INDIA! It's set in India! And there's this courtesan. The most beautiful courtesan in all the world. But her kingdom's been invaded by an evil mah rajah. And in order to save her kingdom, she must seduce the evil mah rajah. But on the night of the seduction, she mistakes a penniless... a penniless sitar player for the evil mah rajah. And she falls in love with him! He wasn't trying to trick her or anything. It's just that he was dressed as a mah rajah because he's appearing in a play.

You know, I don't like animals that kill for pleasure.

Save it for a mammal that cares.

I'm a mammal that cares!

They left without me. They do this every year! Why?! Doesn't anyone love me?! Isn't there anyone who cares about Sid the Sloth?!

They left without me. They do this every year! Why?! Doesn't anyone love me?! Isn't there anyone who cares about Sid the Sloth?

Sexy!

not going broke, Mario, we are already there.

We aint going broke Mario, we're already there!

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

Hey, remember me, Benny Blanco from the Bronx?

"YOU HAVE MORE BALLS THEN CHINESE PING-PONG TOURNAMENT"

YOU HAVE MORE BALLS THAN CHINESE PING-PONG TOURNAMENT

YOU HAVE MORE BALLS THAN A CHINESE PING-PONG TOURNAMENT