Jesse Hassenger Movie Reviews & Previews - Rotten Tomatoes

Jesse Hassenger

Jesse Hassenger
Jesse Hassenger's reviews only count toward the Tomatometer when published at the following Tomatometer-approved publication(s): Filmcritic.com, PopMatters, AV Club, Time Out, Brooklyn Magazine, The Week

Movie Reviews Only

Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
C- 24% Traffik (2018) A watchable semi-terrible exploitation picture...‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Apr 20, 2018
8/10 No Score Yet Futurama: Bender's Game (2008) This being Futurama, those jokes -- even the silliest ones -- have their weird little complexities.‐ PopMatters
Read More | Posted Apr 19, 2018
14% Blumhouse's Truth or Dare (2018) Instead, director and co-writer Jeff Wadlow often filters the female-friendship material through romantic or sexual rivalries, and the movie is too busy with gossipy, salacious, and weirdly obvious twists to dig into its own psychology.‐ The Week
Read More | Posted Apr 13, 2018
51% Rampage (2018) Even the A-movie budget can't disguise how hollow and insubstantial all of the death and destruction feels, even in action-movie terms.‐ The Week
Read More | Posted Apr 13, 2018
C- 80% Sgt. Stubby: An American Hero (2018) Sgt. Stubby is an odd lesson in how some stories, even stories about world-changing conflicts, are just formless anecdotes stitched together by labored narration.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Apr 10, 2018
C- 44% The Miracle Season (2018) It is not unusual for an underdog sports picture to be predictable. But The Miracle Season seems downright preordained, and not just in its arc.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Apr 5, 2018
B 82% Blockers (2018) Pretty much everyone in Blockers, right down to one-joke supporting characters, is at least amusing and good-hearted-and maybe, as the movie winds down, just a little too quick to make nice.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Apr 3, 2018
B+ 78% Gemini (2018) As visually appealing as much of Gemini is, it wouldn't work nearly so well without Lola Kirke playing Jill.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Mar 27, 2018
C 20% Sherlock Gnomes (2018) Is any of this destitute child's Toy Story especially funny or exciting? Oh my, no.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Mar 23, 2018
43% Pacific Rim Uprising (2018) If you liked Pacific Rim, you'll probably like Uprising, too. It might even leave a generation of kids wanting more.‐ The Week
Read More | Posted Mar 23, 2018
D 70% I Can Only Imagine (2018) This is an interesting idea, executed with a reductive, tin-eared understanding of what constitutes art to go along with a faith-based movie's reductive, tin-eared understanding of what constitutes entertainment.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Mar 16, 2018
B- 39% A Wrinkle in Time (2018) Once A Wrinkle In Time launches into its trippy planet-scapes... it delivers more consistent eye candy, though screenwriters Jennifer Lee and Jeff Stockwell never completely crack L'Engle's storytelling rhythms.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Mar 7, 2018
C+ 92% Love, Simon (2018) Love, Simon is touching as a gesture. As entertainment, it's nothing Degrassi hasn't done better.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Feb 27, 2018
C+ 61% Every Day (2018) Plotwise, the book is faithful to the novel, but its eventual resolution is insubstantial and unsatisfying, as sometimes happens when story points are dutifully replicated onscreen without accompanying visuals.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Feb 22, 2018
B- 47% Red Sparrow (2018) A lavishly costumed, location-enhanced thriller, Red Sparrow carries itself along briskly enough (even with a 139-minute running time, the most indulgent thing about it), but it's never especially brain-twisting or nerve-wracking.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Feb 16, 2018
C 17% Looking Glass (2018) More sincere Cage fans will just sigh, take mild solace in his avoiding yet another low-rent revenge thriller, and hope for the best next time around.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Feb 13, 2018
C+ 62% Peter Rabbit (2018) It only takes a few minutes for Peter Rabbit to misunderstand its source material twice.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Feb 5, 2018
C 8% Basmati Blues (2018) The movie starts out heedless in its desire to charm, but it winds up feeling constrained by self-consciousness, and more's the pity.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Feb 5, 2018
B- 42% Maze Runner: The Death Cure (2018) It's watchable, often surprisingly fun, and largely devoid of personality.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Jan 25, 2018
D+ 21% Forever My Girl (2018) Wolf is a Louisiana native and obviously loves her location work, but not enough to imbue the writing or visuals with any life.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Jan 17, 2018
C+ 59% The Polka King (2017) The cast performs these scenes entertainingly-Black's dancing eyes remain as compelling as ever-without ever transcending how unfocused and flatly shot they are.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Jan 10, 2018
91% Phantom Thread (2018) And now Phantom Thread is a half-harrowing, half-tender chamber piece about the nature of love that also pokes, amusingly, at the supposed importance of the Great Artist.‐ The Week
Read More | Posted Dec 28, 2017
D+ 19% Father Figures (2017) The movie torpedoes its sense of comic discovery. It's as if everyone involved can't wait for it all to be over and go home.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Dec 21, 2017
C 56% The Greatest Showman (2017) In a broader sense, the mishmash does recall the real Barnum, who once sewed half a fish to half an ape and called it a mermaid.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Dec 20, 2017
C 31% Pitch Perfect 3 (2017) With a thinnier, sillier story than ever before, the threequel is left with its twin pillars of appeal: musical performances by the core cast, and shtick, also by the core cast.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Dec 20, 2017
67% Wonderstruck (2017) Despite all of the eventfulness, there's little dramatic tension, and lots of footage of kids walking around a museum.‐ Brooklyn Magazine
Read More | Posted Dec 19, 2017
93% Thelma (2017) What keeps it humming is Harboe's performance, and Trier's patience, evident from the very beginning when he takes his sweet time locating Harboe in a vast overhead shot. He hasn't exactly made a horror movie here, but Thelma suggests he could.‐ Brooklyn Magazine
Read More | Posted Dec 19, 2017
95% Call Me by Your Name (2018) Though much of Call Me By Your Name is lovely and well-crafted, it's never quite as subtle as the filmmakers seem to assume.‐ Brooklyn Magazine
Read More | Posted Dec 19, 2017
76% Last Flag Flying (2017) This road picture's many detours, the stuff that should be right in Linklater's wheelhouse, mostly feel, well, like vexing delays.‐ Brooklyn Magazine
Read More | Posted Dec 19, 2017
99% Lady Bird (2017) Metcalf gives a prickly and heartbreaking performance, and she's not the only one supplied with grace notes: Almost every character gets one or another.‐ Brooklyn Magazine
Read More | Posted Dec 19, 2017
92% The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected) (2017) If it's a little softer than some of his darkest or most hilarious movies, it's made with just as much confidence, even wisdom of a sort.‐ Brooklyn Magazine
Read More | Posted Dec 19, 2017
31% Wonder Wheel (2017) Ginny once dreamed of becoming an actress, one of many on-the-nose details that marks Wonder Wheel as self-consciously theatrical.‐ Brooklyn Magazine
Read More | Posted Dec 19, 2017
82% Patti Cake$ (2017) Making music is not inherently cinematic, especially in the downtime between fully-formed performances. Patti Cake$, like so many struggling-musician movies before it, fills that space with a lot of melodrama.‐ Brooklyn Magazine
Read More | Posted Dec 19, 2017
92% The Shape of Water (2017) The Shape of Water is beautifully crafted on a technical level, just like del Toro's other films, but it's no more communicative than Pacific Rim. And like Crimson Peak, it renders the idea of romantic melodrama oddly abstract. ‐ The Week
Read More | Posted Dec 7, 2017
80% Folk Hero & Funny Guy (2017) ... Jeff Grace's Folk Hero & Funny Guy doesn't feel like a warmed-over Apatow production, in part because it has the courage to let the "funny guy" half of its duo be kind of a mediocrity in his field.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Dec 5, 2017
C+ 52% Porto (2017) Jake's section is nearly twice as long as Mati's despite being about half as interesting, which also mutes Lucas' otherwise strong performance.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Nov 14, 2017
92% Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Thor: Ragnarok feels like a Taika Waititi movie, and a very good one - in part because however briefly, it takes the god of thunder off the perpetual-motion machine of success.‐ The Week
Read More | Posted Nov 2, 2017
29% A Bad Moms Christmas (2017) embargo‐ AV Club
Posted Oct 31, 2017
C- 35% Jigsaw (2017) All the Spierig brothers really bring to the material is cleaned-up camera work.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Oct 28, 2017
C+ 28% All I See Is You (2017) Lively has become an expert at creating the impression that at some point, the movie behind her will come together. All I See Is You comes closer than Adaline, but its adult intentions don't go far enough.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Oct 24, 2017
C+ 77% Thank You for Your Service (2017) Stumbling blocks do stack up, standing in the way of Hall's best intentions.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Oct 24, 2017
71% Happy Death Day (2017) In a world where bad news cascades through our various screens and seems to compound every week, there's something comforting about the notion of not moving forward until this one damn problem gets definitively solved.‐ The Week
Read More | Posted Oct 19, 2017
C+ 87% Only the Brave (2017) In the face of human emotions, its craftsmanship turns workmanlike.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Oct 17, 2017
C- 66% Breathe (2017) Cavendish has crafted a nice-looking, warm-spirited tribute to his father, but he has not exactly made a movie.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Oct 10, 2017
B 86% American Made (2017) American Made has such style and energy that its hasty patchwork of a narrative becomes a kind of charm unto itself, even when it means losing track of talented actors.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Sep 28, 2017
C+ 55% The Lego Ninjago Movie (2017) Warner Bros. animation has finally made the uninspired Lego cartoon that so many people were expecting from The Lego Movie back in early 2014.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Sep 20, 2017
C 66% Victoria & Abdul (2017) Victoria And Abdul fails to make much of a case for its characters' friendship apart from the fact that it seems pretty nice.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2017
82% Brad's Status (2017) [Ben] Stiller might be stuck in a midlife crisis on screen, but he deepens that crisis like a pro.‐ The Week
Read More | Posted Sep 15, 2017
B 70% Dayveon (2017) By displacing some familiar gang-movie dynamics into an environment less often glimpsed on film, Abbasi stays true to the offbeat heart of his influences.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Sep 11, 2017
D 11% 9/11 (2017) By invoking September 11th, this movie is announcing that it has something to say... it's the film equivalent of a guy loudly demanding the attention of everyone in a subway car, then refusing to even issue a compellingly strange rant.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Sep 8, 2017